Fish upon the Sky Chapter 2

    Fish upon the Sky Chapter 2

   The one word is that you are stupid Pi, two words are still stupid Pi, I want to jump up and beat up those who cuss at me and want to use me but I can't. Resistance is nothing but a beating and the rest of my life is still an endless slavery.

   I haven't seen Nan since yesterday. Chemistry class isn't every day, it's 2 times a week at most and in different labs. “Fish upon the Sky” we are lowly drifting apart. So, the conclusion is: I was closest to him when I met him by chance.

   And don't ask if there's a miracle like in fiction: I like him and he likes me but won't tell each other. Well... That was before. I've been fooling myself for a long, long time with that excuse but what happens, a year goes by and he doesn't even look at me.

   Pop!

   My face was deflected again, this time, the glasses on my ears were knocked off, my mouth almost came into contact with the table. The fantasy was suddenly interrupted and I was furious inside.

   “Pi, how many times have I called you, huh? Did your dad not insert an auditory nerve into your ear?”

   My dad is your dad too you freaking asshole.

   “It's true that I didn't hear it.”  I rubbed my head with my hand, turned around and looked at the guy who was looking for something with an aggravated look on his face.

   This man's name is “Duean”, He is my brother. There are three brothers in my family. The eldest brother is Wan, he's currently a doctor in the south of the country, I studied dentistry and this madman, he's the other one in our family.  [1] This family is naming their family based on calendar? Wan in Thai means day/days Pi means Year/Years and Duean means Month/ Months

   First of all, ... He's as handsome as his brother, so handsome that he easily took College Moon's title

   Secondly... He doesn't study science and health like the rest of us, his siblings, he studying engineering.

   Finally... He's in his fifth year.

   Yes! He was supposed to graduate last year but I guess this guy's brain is built differently than ours, so he had to do six years of college when he was supposed to do four.

   Pop!

   Another hard slap made my head shake, my brain went blank for a while. He's not only a bad person, he's also a smooth talker.

   “Duean, why are you hitting me again? It hurts!”

   I never called him my brother, because he did things that I didn't respect him for. We were like friends every day.

   In fact, compared to others, Duean is not stupid, he just likes to be naughty and he doesn't care about his studies, so much so that he failed his major at the end of the year and he still laughs, he is one of those who fail to graduate because they are obsessed with chasing girls. I'm really disillusioned with him.

   “If you don't answer my question again, I won't hesitate to slap you again.”

   “What you asked for”

   “I asked if anyone bullied you today?”

   “No...”

   If anything, he's probably going to go after people again and it's not going to be pretty.

   This brother of mine likes to use violence to solve problems. And because he's such a good-looking, violent brother, there's a rumor that Pi is an overgrown brat. He moved in with me this semester and because he didn't finish school, mom took away his allowance as a punishment.

   “Tell the truth...”

   “That's the truth, they all know me, why bully me?”

   “Yes, love you to death...”

   Duean said sarcastically, with a disgusted grimace but his eyes were fixed on the diary in my hand.

   “So, what's this about?”

   “Mind your own business, play the game if you want or do whatever you want.”  I immediately turned my body away, closed my diary with my hand, not wanting him to see.

   I've been doing this almost every day since he moved in and I've bought a key to lock the bookcase. A secret is a secret and it will remain a secret no matter what.

   “Fish upon the Sky... I don't know how long it will be before I get to know the real you. If only I had half the courage of the ceremony host, so I could confess my love to you and not be afraid of disappointment.”

   “Hey! Rude, why the hell did you do that?”

   I'm so mad I just called him “you fuck” I called him that. Those are the words I wrote in my diary yesterday but he... What the hell is this asshole brother up to!

   “Just wondering...”

   “Mind your own business!”

   “I won't tell anyone.”

   “But the problem is I don't want you to know either!”  We've always shared our hearts with each other, except for the love thing, because we weren't brave enough to say it. “How did you open my locker?”

   “My good brother, don't be so stupid, you hid the keys under the couch, you think I don't know?”

   “Laugh if you want.”

   “Why don't you have the courage? Look at your diary, you've had a crush on someone for a year now.” How childish! Oh my god, he read all my diary, now I don't even have to ask who this secret is about.

   “If I were half as handsome as you, I wouldn't be sitting here writing diary after diary.”

   “Ashamed of yourself?”

   “So, what if it is? Why do mom and dad just favor you and big brother so much?”

   Here we go again.

   I have feelings too. Ever since I was born, people have been comparing me to my brother, saying he's good-looking. Even with his heavy glasses, he's handsome as hell. Otherwise, he wouldn't be such a womanizer nowadays. Believe me, the hospital is probably full of his love sisters.

   As for Duean, he's obviously there to beat and bully me. No matter how much he plays games, his eyes are still not nearsighted. He has a high nose, fine skin, not a single pimple on his face, no matter what his hair style is, he can handle it, he's handsome. When he smiles, any woman will scream. His reputation was saved by his good looks, so much so that people forgot that he was a retread.

   Look at me again, what do I have?

   “Pi, don't you ever cry in front of me kid, or I'll kick your ass!”

   “I'm not crying, I'm just howling”

   Bastard, it's a river of tears, forget it, I am going to just fool yourself into thinking it's sweat.

   “Weak and incompetent, can't do anything, can barely take care of yourself. You're only good at school. You should get up and look at yourself in a mirror. You get up in the morning, you eat nachos with milk chocolate and you rush out the door. The whole world probably won't even look at you.”

   Giggle! My heart hurts so much from the blow.

   “Duean, why do you have to cuss me out so much, I'm your brother eh!”

   “That's why I treat you like my own brother. You say you'll take care of yourself but you don't go to bed until 3am, you wake up with shit in your eyes, you don't brush your hair a few times a year. I told you to cut it off, you said you were too busy and your braces, if the doctor won't take them off, I'll take a pair of pliers and cut them off myself, want one? Do you want it? I don't want to hear you complain about your looks... when you're so handsome!”

   Finally, he's back in self-appreciation mode as usual, I'm so so so sick of him!

   “I am who I am and whoever likes me, he likes the real me.”

   “It's best to be who you are, you're not being asked to change anything. If you like the way you are, no one will say anything. That means you're willing to accept yourself as you are, so why keep complaining?”

   “...”

   “If you're still complaining, you're not happy with yourself as you are. So, you are given two choices, one: change yourself; or the second choice: adjust your mindset. Choose for yourself!”

Duean POV

   After that he went to the couch and he got all tucked up on the couch. He picked up his video game and played it comfortably, leaving me alone.

   That kind of choice?

   If I change... No! If anyone likes me, they'll like me the way I am.

   I can choose my own path.

   Catching up on the Fifth Year Student

   “Trying to fly beyond that day but it seems fate doesn't understand...”

   Let's sing together, the last semester with our friends is coming to an end. From now on, I'll be a senior to a junior. If you ask me why, I'll tell you, I'm studying to improve my education later. But the real reason is that I won't be able to graduate.

   In this hell of a reality, the Life Skills course is a must.

   Translates directly to a survival skills course. I suspected that I didn't have enough skills to qualify for the exam. It wasn't until my mom beat me up in a rage, asking me why I couldn't graduate, that I realized, “Oh... I'd forgotten I had to graduate.”

   But it would be nice if I didn't have to attend classes with all these freshmen wearing cute hang tags. I didn't have time to react when I registered, not only did I become friends with them but I also had to attend classes with other students. There was some gossip behind the scenes, that a Fifth-Year senior was studying with them. So, annoying! So, I sat next to the gossiping first years, pretending to be a first year and told them I just forgot my hangtag.

   So, come back for it today. My disguise mission started when I was in the classroom looking for targets and prey.

   “Ah, that's you!”  If you find your target, you'll cut him off.

   “There's... Can I help you?”

   The first-grader raised his eyes. What kind of skin care products are kids using these days? Look at the skin on his face, it's smooth and fine. I bend down to look at the tag around his neck, it says his information: Meen, medical school freshman.

   “Are you not feeling well, why the stammering answer.”

   “No.”  He looked sheepish.

   His friend warned, “Hey, Dr. Meen, get in the classroom, the teachers are already here.”  Interrupted the conversation between me and him.

   Aha! He has already been called a doctor even if he was freshman and I don't see anyone calling me Engineer “Duean” and I am in my fifth year!

   “Give me your hangtag...”

   “What?”

   “I said give me the hangtag hanging around your neck!”

   “No, you'll be punished by the seniors later, if your hangtag is missing, then go and ask for a new one.”  Ah! So, my face looks so young, so young that this little think I'm a freshman. Oh, my God, I'm so proud!

   “I'm too lazy to go looking for it, can't I just borrow it for a few hours? I'll pay you back when the event is over.”  Seeing that the open approach doesn't work, so I have to change my mind and use the soft policy: “Okay Meen, okay min~”

   Look at my face, I've tried so hard.

   “No... NO.”

   “Please, I'll buy you dinner later.”

   “I don't want a free lunch...”

   “It's OK to buy you a drink, just help me out.”

   “Just lend it to me for a little while.”

   “Just a little while oh.”

   Meen took off the nameplate hanging around his neck and handed it to me. When I saw the teardrops in his big eyes, I felt...

   It's a real pleasure to play with this kid.

   Get the tag, then you can flirt with the freshman girls as much as you want.

   Ending my fifth year of college.

Pi POV

   “Pi, you have to get dressed up tonight.”

   An imperative command rang out from my friends, making me look up in confusion. It was the first time they'd invited me to go out with them. The guy said it was a party. I wanted to go too, so I agreed. So, I agreed. Maybe something good would happen with him.

   “If you don't want to embarrass people, you'd better look presentable.”

   “Okay, no problem, so where's the location?”

   “10pm, at Club XX, hope you're not stupid enough to get lost.”

   “Surely you can't get lost.”

   Club XX, Oh no... I've never been to a place of entertainment since I was born, so I don't understand what's so great about going there to celebrate. But what's said is spilled, I can't go. I guess I'll have to rely on my brother Duean who is in his fifth year.

   With that in mind, I drove back to my place immediately. Four or five hours is enough time to pick out a good outfit. There are only a few styles of clothes for me. One is a solid-colored crew neck t-shirt and another is a striped collared shirt from many different brands but all the same. That's why he hates my style so much.

   “My dear little brother, what are you doing? I see you've been rummaging around in the cupboard for a long time, would you like to eat something first?”

   “I'm picking out an outfit, going to a party with a friend.”

   “Where is it?”

   “At Club XX...”  Crap crap crap, just saw that Duean guy slap his knee, looks like he's pretty freaked out by what he heard.

   “Chug! Do you guys have any idea what kind of people mostly go to this club?”

   “It's not just a place you go to after you've made yourself glamorous.”

   “Oh, my brother, you're still too dumb for that, that's the faggot club!”

   “So, what, it's men I like anyway.”

   “You've got a lot of guts.”  With one leg, strides over to me, bends down and picks up the clothes in my closet and looks at them playfully.

   “What do you do?”

   “Don't you have anything better to wear than this? You're going to the club tonight, not to the temple to burn incense and worship Buddha!”

   “So, what do you want?”

   “Wear mine to go.”  No more nonsense. He turned around and opened his closet, grabbed his shirt jacket and threw it on the bed. Before he could take off the pants, he was wearing...

   “Holy shit, what the fuck are you doing?”

   “My suit setup ah, wear it to look handsome guaranteed.”

   Emmmm, the clothes are barely acceptable but the pants I want to say no to, are you trying to make me smell bad?

   “I don't want it; I am afraid I won't feel confident wearing it.”

   “Are you wearing it or not?”

   “Do not wear...”

   “Whatever then, glasses man!”  He put on a tense face, then picked up the clothes and shoved them back in the closet.

   Yeah, used to tell myself, to be proud of being my true self. For the party tonight, I decided to wear a crocodile striped t-shirt and a pair of crew style pants and that's it.

   Just after 10pm, I called a taxi from my apartment. I entered the club with a lot of excitement.

   Entering the club through the front door, the atmosphere inside is very different from the outside, it feels like a different world inside and out. The music is deafening, the rhythm is sharp; the dim light flickers, it's dazzling. The club is full of people, it feels like your heart is beating out of your chest.

   “Pi, you freaking dumbass, come over here.”

   My friend raised his hand to call me. I also raised my hand in a good mood and then raised my legs and walked towards the table with the highest table in the club. There were no chairs, only alcoholic beverages on the table.

   “Is this what you call dressing up decently?”  A man teased. No wonder people kept saluting me as I walked by, not if they were surprised by my good looks.

   “Do you all like to come to places like this?”  I asked suspiciously.

   “Well, come and open your eyes.”

   “But places like this look weird...”

   “You'll just be nestled in your room by yourself... Nan.”  I hadn't even finished the sentence; he started another one. I followed my friend's line of sight, until it hit the man's body.

   The person was thin, sweet looking like a fairy, dark, deep eyes, body swaying to the beat of the music, dark grey hair swaying with her body and a light smile on her lovely mouth.

   “MueangNan...”

   My “Fish upon the Sky” That’s so sexy.

   I stood stunned for a long time. But what shocked me even more than that was the sight of another wave of people wiggling their hips and swaying from side to side, dancing excitedly on the floor. The dozen or so boys who were showing off were in a state of physical and mental rapture. Some of them were wearing luxury white clothes, so thin you could see all over their bodies through them. The black bottoms were visible as they bent over their shoulders.

   To die to die... Pi is going crazy.

   “Wooooooo Oooo, it's Nan!!!”

   “Manhood...”

   The MueangNan I know is completely different from the MueangNan I saw at the club tonight and that's a feeling I don't know how to describe at all.

   “Nan's really here tonight.”

   “The Real Man award has to go to him...”

   “Come along and say hello.”

   “Good...”

   “I'm going too...”  I blurted out excitedly. My friend turned to look while smiling meaningfully.

   “Just hold the table, we'll be back in a minute.”

   “Ah... Can't we go together? You guys invited me here, how can you just leave me like this?”

   “Who wanted to invite you over, I was just asking politely, how presumptuous.”

   Please~~ Please thrash this bastard hard!!!

   The man in front of me is taking a big gulp of wine, while laughing and planning to say hello, to meet his friends from the academy. At this moment, I was the only one, slowly becoming a transparent, no one cares about the other.

   In fact, it's time to realize...

   No matter how much time has passed, I'm irrelevant in their lives.

   *Song: It's Time for the Little Boat to Set Sail (เรือเล็กควรออกจากฝั่ง) sung by Bodyslam.

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