Fish upon the Sky Chapter 3

    Fish upon the Sky Chapter 3

   My so-called “friends” and I, I don't have a good relationship with my so-called “friends”, I don't have the experience of sitting around laughing with them, or laughing every time I think about the past with them. For me and what makes me feel even colder than that, is that many people probably don't even think about me.

   When I was in high school, boys and girls alike, I had a lot of friends. They were all very friendly, so whenever they needed anything, I always did what I could to return the favor. I didn't know the truth until one day when I happened to hear from my friend, who I thought was my best friend, spouting off about me in class behind my back. He said a lot of terrible things about me that I never knew before.

   Many of my friends approach me, because my brother is handsome and some approach me, because I am a nerd and I can help them with their studies. I am not good at socializing, I always do weird things when I am with people, so that my brother often has to take care of me when things go wrong.

   For “Without your brother, a man like Pi would be nothing” I was deeply saddened by such words. I've heard it over and over again and I've become numb to it.

   After that day, everything changed. I could no longer see my friends in a sincere way, no longer believe that the smile they gave me in the moment was genuine. They probably hated me so much that they hung out with me because it was profitable. The shock of this huge gap lasted for a long time and made me choose not to be close to anyone.

   Being alone, blocking out everyone who came near me, because I didn't believe anyone would like me for who I really was and being afraid to open up to people in college.

   It's frustrating to think about that time, because there are still very clear images in my mind of many good friends.

   “Pi, you want to go to dinner together?”

   “No...”

   “So, you're free this afternoon, right?”

   “I am free after taking care of the Painted Fish Club...”

   “Let's go to the movies this afternoon, then?”

   “No...”

   Or when a friend invites me to go somewhere together.

   “Pi, you wanna come along for the ride?”

   “No...”

   “I haven't even said where we're going to play.”

   “So, where's the fun going?”

   “It's going to be a boring Saturday, any interest in going to the new cafe but you'll have to take beautiful pictures for us.”

   “Then I won't go.”

   In the eyes of my friends, all I have in my life is “no” That's one word.

   'Pi'

   'No'

   'No, I haven't asked yet. '

   'That's it, reject it first. '

   Until a long time had passed, when I realized, that I had no friends left around.

   Maybe it's because of the attitude I display, that's why they don't dare to approach me who tries to close myself off in any way possible. Rejection is not because of lack of desire, it's because they know they are not that important. They only think of me when there's no one else, I'm often their backup. Look at the way I look, the way I dress, the way I behave, no one invites me or thinks of me in the first place.

   Only my current group of friends approached me but I guess they approached me reluctantly, because I was unlucky enough to find out that they were no good either. The only reason they want me to be their sidekick is because of the group work, so I'm not left out like I used to be.

   “Pi”

   “...”

   “Stupid!” A loud slap followed.

   “Why are you hitting me in the head?”

   “Why don't you turn around when you're told to?” I clenched my fists, I wanted to punch each one of them, hard in the face of their so-called friends. Don't your dads ever teach you to talk to your friends in a calm manner?

   “It's okay to say it nicely...”

   “But can you hear me?” I stared at the man's face without blinking. “Making that face, you're not secretly cursing in your mind, are you?”

   “So, what if I cuss? What can you do?”

   “It's no fun anymore, go back!”

   “No, I'm going to keep on being here.”

   “Is it polluting the air here?”

   “...”

   “I know you have a crush on Nan but sorry... Even if he doesn't have a crush, he'll never like you!”

   I could only put away my anger and resentment. Duean's words suddenly came to my mind: Why can't you be strong and brave for once? Why can't you just grab them by the collar and spit in their face in anger?

   Don't push me to the point of no return.

   “You believe me, no matter how hard you try it's just that, look at you, got it?”

   In fact, it's tempting to cuss and say: holy shit! And actually, only dare to say...

   “Okay...”

   “Since you like him so much, then if you want to know if he likes you, give it a try.”

   “... Really?”

   “Hmmm.”

   “Over there, Nan is already sitting back, get on it!” I shook my head to drive the jumbled thoughts out of my head. I shifted my glasses with my hand and concentrated on the image in front of me.

   “Come on, get it on...” After a few scowls, each with their own glass, they headed straight for the guy sitting on the VIP couch with two or three friends.

   “Can we sit together?” One of the friends said. MueangNan lifted his warm eyes and smiled lightly

   “Of course, you can.”

   “Let's all sit down, sit.” They sat down and touched legs, who should start the conversation first. As for me, since no one cared, I was forgotten and since the sofa was full, I couldn't sit there with them, so I just sat stupidly not far away.

   “MueangNan.” A guy with a pillowy head was the first to speak up, because he looked good in that group.

   By the way, there are many lovely and kind people in dental school, I just had the bad luck to run into such a group of guys. For others, they may take the help I give them with a grain of salt. Some of them might not have hated me so much but they didn't want to get close to me. But these guys, they not only hated me, they loved to tease me.

   “You know me, huh?” Nan responds sweetly, a far cry from the guy we saw on the dance floor earlier.

   “Of course, we know each other, we go to the same university, we often run into each other inside the school.”

   “So, why don't you go over and say hello?”

   What the hell, has it gone this far? Serious question: is this a human being or a greaseless fryer, huh?

   “I know you have a crush on someone, so you are afraid to do it.” Oh, shit! I think it's obvious that you've been thinking about him for a long time. I think you've been thinking about him for a long time. Their usual mantra: “But if Nan can open his heart, I'll teach you about love myself.”

   Who has a potty, let me borrow it, let me puke for a while? The guy teased himself and kicked his friend's leg and got his friends to join in, because MueangNan didn't act like he didn't like it.

   “At a glance, I know it's often said but what I wonder is: can things like love still be passed on to each other?”

   “Fish upon the Sky” And keep asking.

   “Of course, you can, want to try it?”

   “Wanted to try it too but as you know “

   “...”

   “I already have two husbands, so sorry, because they're super mean.”

   Pop!

   You know what's a punch in the face? This is it, all of them. Because Nan's just adding a little charm to the mix. My friend, on the other hand, is as dumbfounded and still as a dog with a can of fish, he wants to eat it but he can't open it.

   I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

   Laughing because the guys are being humiliated, crying because my “Fish upon the Sky” Hubby, he already has two.

   Pi's heart is bursting, who can take it? Fuck!

   “Are you scared? we're medical students, tell the seniors to prescribe you some medication later?” Nan's friend asked jokingly. Both boys and girls, all well-groomed, were here to have fun. As for me...

   Apart from not being remembered, he didn't even look at it.

   I had to be silent and occasionally pretend to laugh. Even though some of the time it wasn't funny. I didn't come out of the bar like a wilted parsley until everyone had gone their separate ways.

   “Pi.” It was silent outside, took a long time to gather my thoughts, then it hit me, this sound, this smell...

   “Duean!!!”

   “Of course, it's me, you think it's MueangNan?” Yes, broken dreams. Isn't it usually in dramas that the main character comes over to the director's place and makes love to him?

   So, why did this pig suddenly appear here, I'm so annoyed!

   “How did you get here?”

   “Sneaked up on you, this is drinking your eyes out!”

   “Not bad for you”

   “First time in a bar, how did it feel? Did it feel like a good time?”

   “Well, I feel happy because I met 'him' yah!” After my brother helped me to his car and tucked my body in, he went back to the previous conversation.

   “Who isn't fun to play with.” Both hands holding the wreath, eyes on the street but instead his words reached my ears clearly.

   “What does it mean?”

   “Why didn't you tell me that you like MueangNan? Aren't you tired of hiding it all by yourself?”

   “You know Nan?”

   Don't tell me you like him, too. Ah! How can two brothers like the same person and I can't give in. Even if I knew today that the “Fish upon the Sky” I wouldn't back down even if I knew today that “Fish upon the Sky” was already in love with someone else.

   “My friend has had his eye on Nan since he was a freshman but Nan didn't take him either.”

   “Which friend of yours?”

   “He has graduated...” Oh yeah, Duean the guy hasn't graduated yet. “So, what did you think of him today? Like you wrote in your diary?”

   “Mind your own business...” Again.

   “I didn't think, you'd like Nan. at first sight, where the hell is this guy, so many people come into his life, do you compete with them?” This Duean guy, he knows everything but why doesn't Pi get it?

   “So... I'm sure I can beat that. I don't care if it's At, or any other guy.”

   “Can you take it?”

   “Yes, you can, why not?”

   “Nan's husband is very mean.”

   “You don't have to remind me over and over again, one day anyway, Nan will abandon them too.” I knew it when I saw his womanizing and indecisiveness in the bar. I said, maybe soon, that hot guy will be dumped too.

   “Do you know something?”

   “What do you know.” That alone is killing me.

   “Haven't you heard of MueangNan's husband who is like super famous and rich and famous? Whoever goes after MueangNan, that person will only be rejected.”

   “So, what?”

   “Vindicate yourself, Pi, you freaking dumbass, what you call his boyfriend, is actually his relative.”

   “Huh? Meaning, Nan is not dating anyone?”

   “So, what if it is...”

   Ahhhhhhhhhh! M sexy little heart, hurt like that, I didn't think I'd actually be single. Pi is fainting. The feeling of wanting to be the boyfriend who looks like an angel but is actually a cat girl is getting stronger.

   I sat there and the smile on my lips grew bigger and bigger. After that, whatever my brother said, I just listened and listened and wove a beautiful, gorgeous castle in my head.

   “What are you thinking? Here we are, get down now.”

   “Oh.” I was kicked out of the car by Duean. As soon as I got inside, he started taking off his shirt and pants, until he was down to a pair of boxer shorts. Can't he just take them off in the bathroom? I'm not interested in watching a documentary on animal life right now!

   “Meet me tomorrow afternoon at the School of Engineering building...” This guy suddenly said nonsensically.

   “Duean, aren’t you boring and why should I go to you?”

   “Introducing a friend to you...”

   “Guys like you still have friends?”

   “Fuck, I'll kick your ass, guess it's your chance.”

   “What chance?”

   “I don't want to have a brother who's such a wimp, OK? I could hear you getting yelled at from that distance at the bar.”

   “Then why didn't you come and help me? Why just stand there and watch indifferently?”

   “So, why don't you beat them up?”

   “...”

   “Tomorrow afternoon you get ready, you'll be happy.”

   Ever seen a man with a hopeful cartoon face and a star shining above his head? Duean is like that. If you ask me how far he can change me with that look, let's just say that there's no guarantee. Because all he's ever done in life is look good but what he's done is worse than a dog. Well...

 

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