THE EFFECT: THE SERIES
The Effect The Series Chapter 10: You never really leave Hell behind, it follows you like fiery shadow
"I ..... Don't know"
"How? Try to consult your family first. If there is anything for me or the doctor to help, you can notify us at any time.”
"Thank you"
After the initial conversation ended and I was able to calm down a lot and the doctor did a thorough examination of my body before leaving the room.
The wound that the doctor looked to be most worried about is the head wound, including the wound on the back of my hair. The doctor warned me to quickly notify him of any unusual symptoms or pain. She said I don't need to endure because the doctor is afraid that the infection will occur and my condition will be worse.
.................................................. ...................
"Just now, I'm sorry I pushed you Pramote."
"No problem, small matter. We can contact your family. Soon, your parents will probably arrive.”
"Thank you"
"Hey friends are friends"
Although it was already late, Pramote refused to go and leave. I asked Pramote to go back, but Pramote refused. He was still sitting quietly and I looked at this friend... Pramote ... He refused to go home to the moment my mother arrived at the hospital.
"Shin, mother is here"
As soon as she saw me, she kept crying. The tears of the mother who had never a reason to cry made me sad. Sorry to not be more careful of myself, sorry to cause my mother to suffer. Sorry to not be able to protect yourself from this incident.
"Can you tell me, son? Mother wants to know.”
"He is a senior, mother"
"Before, we were very close. But after a break that made us not as close as before, we haven't talked for a while now, today he came and I agreed to see him ...”
Every time I try to tell what happened, I feel P'Keng's hand strangling my neck. Think of the time P'Keng forced me made me of the word that he kept on saying: love, even though his hands were strangling me. Those images are still clear. It was until now that I felt it was happening right now.
"Mother, mother will help Shin."
"That's enough. Shin is okay for now. Mother's here."
"Doctor, doctor."
The sound of the mum pressing the alarm bell and shouting at the doctor all started. When I started to ask for help from my mother. P'Keng would know that I was at the hospital. I know my mother is now here, with the embrace of which she is hugging me, and the sound of the mother loud near to me. But I can't force my body to stop fearing still.
The fear that it rises up as the seconds pass. Fear and insecurity made me breathless again. P'Keng's hand was still around my neck, and no matter how much I try to remove it, it doesn't come out of my neck.
The doctor entered the room with a respirator. This time, the doctor didn't tell me to count the numbers like the first time, but he took an oxygen mask to cover me. Even if I had to feel that the words were covered by something, but the mother's voice told me to breathe and another nurse told me the same causing me to breathe in the air from that foreign object and then it made me feel better. When the doctor saw that I started to breathe myself the doctor retreated, leaving only me and one nurse.
"You stay here, the doctor will take your mother to talk a little."
When my eyes glanced, seeing that my mother was following the doctor, I became nervous and didn't want to be alone in this room, so I reached out to touch her.
"No," I shook my face as an answer that I didn't want my mother to leave from here.
"Um, doctor. Can we talk in this room?"
"Yes, but please come out from the bed a little. The patients has to rest”
"Mom is still in the room, Shin, baby rest easy."
I finally nodded and finally let go of my mother's hand.
Although the doctor tried to explain my mother in a quiet voice, with the quiet room conditions, I was still able to capture what they were talking about.
The doctor said that I may be having a panic attack, which may be a result of the incident. If the body is well healed, the doctor would like to advise me to see a psychologist to be sure in order to get the treatment properly.
"The disease that the doctor talks about is the one which can be healed by the patient himself, or in some cases, must rely on medication to help. How to get a specialist doctor to check again is probably the best result.”
"Thank you, Doctor."
"And this is PEP medicine"
"What is it?"
The doctor turned to me, I was still looking at both of them almost not blink of an eye. The doctor walked back to bed and gave me the medicine. While also explaining about the drug and the side effects that may occur to me and my mother
During the first period I received antiretroviral therapy, I didn't feel the effects as the doctors had warned. I could still sit and watch the mum who was standing talking to the doctor at another corner as usual.
But after a short period of time, I felt like someone was pounding the hammer on my head, it was a headache. I don't know what I would explain about this pain with. I tried to endure because I didn't want my mother to be more worried, but then I couldn't bear the headache. I became nauseous that I covered my blanket and myself. Luckily I didn't eat anything, so the only thing that came out was water.
"Shin, doctor. What is wrong with my child?" The mother who was talking to the doctor and rushed to the bed quickly.
"There are many reasons. Wait a minute. I have to ask for a thorough physical examination again. Because it is possible both the side effects of the drug given, but because the patient already has a fever from the injured body because there are deep wounds in the head and on the back Therefore, it may be a symptom.”
The nurse had to bring the clothes for me to change and had to change the sheets and blankets in time. I also had to let the mother hard help push to let them clean the bathroom.
When everything was finished, my mother turned to notify the doctor. My mother's hand trembled every time she had to drag it through or float away with me, until I finally saw my mother crying because of me again.
"I will inform you. How you want to fight, please ask for a medical physician as well.”
"OK"
"Mother ... If you want to tell me to report someone else, you must know. I don't want to report I don't want anyone to know. Mom, I don't want to inform anyone, Mom? I can't do that, can you understand?”
"Anyway, I will excuses myself first. And then if you able to agree on the matter, can inform the doctor immediately”
The doctor excused himself from the room. Mom didn't promise that she would do as I wanted. Mother just said that she will wait for Father to come first. Let's talk about it again.
"Whatever you have to do, you do not ...”
I fell asleep since I did not know. But I felt awake when I heard it like my parents were talking. When I opened my eyes, I found that he was actually standing in the corner of the room with her mother. I didn't dream
"Father"
"Shin, how are you?"
"I'm OK"
In fact, I wanted to tell my father how much I was hurt. But I had to try not to be seen as hurt, because I still remember that before I fell asleep, my mother talked about reporting, which was something I didn't want, and I thought that if I didn't get hurt much it would end. Just this
"Shin, mom and dad have talked. Listen to Father. What that man did was wrong. Then, if we let the wrongdoer like him do this to the child and go free what does it say to other who are going to be in a situation like this”
"Prosecution is for you to decide."
"But I ... I don't want anyone to know."
"Shin, listen to father."
"I'm not in pain anymore. Really, it does not hurt.”
"Shin, he did this to a child this much. Aren't you afraid that he will do this to other people? In addition to other children, in the future what if he does it to his children again. Everything that is decided today is for the future as well.”
"I"
"Considered that you have fought for yourself."
"Yes ..." And then I had to agree.
Two days later, my parents came to me and I was temporarily leaving the hospital in order to issue a report. Throughout the journey from the hospital to the police station, my heart was shaking, my hands covered with sweat.
"I brought my son to report the rape and assault case"
"Welcome"
The captain of the police looked directly at me and invited me to talk to him closer. Mum therefore has only to worry about driving the wheelchair closer to the table.
"Please tell me about the event."
"That day I returned to the dormitory as usual. But before entering the dormitory, I greeted him.”
"Can I have that person's name?"
"..."
"Sir, please can I ask for the name of that person"
"Keng Chairattanawong"
"Please continue."
"After that, he came up to the room ..."
I tried to compose myself and tell the policeman what happened. Every time I told him it was like I was standing there once again, standing under the dormitory. The pain that began to fade away felt as if it would return when all the images were occurring in my head.
The neck that has been squeezed, although only the bruises are left now, but I can feel suffocation like P'Keng's hand was still clutching around my neck. The back of my head is like being repeatedly struck back on the floor
I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I was so hurt. I couldn't bear to see myself two days ago. So I stopped telling just to the point when P'Keng drag me into my bedroom.
"I can't do it."
"It's okay, child"
"I can't tell anymore. I can't tell anymore. Don't make any more. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want anymore.”
My mother pulled my body, which started to tremble, she hugged me. And today, once again, reinforces me that I am a loser, a person who cannot fight even to fight for myself. When I was cold, that police officer began to ask me more questions.
"And do you know, at that time someone was there or was there anyone who saw the incident?"
"There are no people living with me. But I met my friend when I tried to escape from my room.”
"So I have to ask for your friend's name and contact number. Because he might be one of the witnesses this time, but however, apart from the results of the medical certificate that was acquired at hand or even if your friend gives a useful testimony, there won't be enough weight to the prosecution if the rest of the story doesn't come out of your mouth.”
"Yes"
I spent a full week in the hospital, so I was able to get out of the hospital. But the doctor asked me to come to get a check up for my body in the next 3 months to make sure that I was not infected with the disease from this incident.
Pramote was the one who asked for a leave for me to the teacher, and he also stopped by to give the study sheet to me every day. At first I didn't dare to go to Pramote because when my body started to heal, I remembered the condition Pramote met me.
I'm not sure if Pramote has any feelings of disgust at me because all the time that Pramote visits, Pramote always tries to keep the distance between me and him, making me talk less to Pramote than before.
Luckily, the fingers and knees didn't break, so I just stayed still. In just a few more days, everything looked just right, and the x-ray showed that the tendons my muscles and bones are okay.
As for the back channel, I started to heal until I was able to excrete by myself. I have only left the wound on the head, which still has to be washed every day.
Since I came back to heal at home, my mother has asked for a long vacation from work to come to look after me fully. Because aside from the side effects of drugs that make me dizzy and sometimes vomit what I was unaware of was that I was not able to be alone anymore. Even if I'm at home, whether day or night, there must be someone with me. Therefore, every night my father or mother has to switch to sleep as my friend in the room because if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't see anyone my panic attack will begin to develop immediately.
TBC
THE EFFECT: THE SERIES
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