Fish upon the Sky Chapter 4

    Fish upon the Sky Chapter 4

   Pattawee Panichapun: Boring, so boring, it's boring as hell!

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   Yesterday they said it would be fun, today it's boring?

   Pattawee Panichapun:   That brother of mine, who can't keep his word, keeps standing me up.

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   Then don't wait for your brother.

   Pattawee Panichapun:   If I could have waited, I would have left.

   I'm not going to waste time waiting here.

   I was chatting with this anonymous user to pass the time; it's been a long time and my handsome brother still hasn't shown up. This guy is from the college next to ours but I don't know which college. Because I don't know which college is next door, because all he has on his Facebook page is a picture of the school building and a conversation with his dog. The only thing I remember is that this guy added me last year and it just so happened that we got along, so we kept in touch.

   Day by day we kept chatting, I don't know if it's a man or a ghost.

   Whatever, it's someone's business to focus on right now.

   Duean, you've damn well kept your brother waiting for me for a long time!

   I really, really want to shout this out loud. But I can't do that, as a brother, I have to be nice and I don't want to be scolded here. I was supposed to meet my friends here but I'm sorry but the time came and I didn't see a soul, let alone a person and I was annoyed.

   Worse than that, all day today, I didn't even see the “Fish upon the Sky” All my hopes and dreams were shattered in an instant. At first, I thought of many ways to impress him but when I thought of my unattractive appearance, I had to bite my tongue and keep my words to myself.

   You have to know yourself. He's got a good-looking guy chasing him and he's calling his brother and relatives his husband, using them as a shield. And look at your looks, how can you impress him.

   You're not handsome and you want to flirt with girls like that.

   “You! Hey, that's you.” A loud shouting in my ears, I don't know where the madman came from, to say hello so loudly, what a lack of manners. I've just calmed down, waiting for my dear brother as promised but the voice continues to shout.

   “Idiot, why didn't you say yes when I asked you to?”

   Why don't you just let your friend keep screaming.

   Pop!

   “Are you deaf or what, asshole?” This time the sound echoed throughout the ears, the hammer bone, the drill bone and the stirrup bone all nearly fell into the throat. It's not too hard but it's a little too much.

   I lifted my head and patted it with my hand.

   “Who is it?” I asked. Neither was a friend and the face didn't look familiar, so the voice would be that of the guy I'd just mentally spat at.

   Most importantly, he didn't come alone, he came as a group of four!

   “I'm a friend of Duean's, your name is Pi right?”

   I didn't make a sound but nodded my head.

   “Your brother had something to do, so he asked us to come over first, he'll be here later.” Like he's going out to war., Later. What do you have to do with me?

   “But... Duean for... Why... Not... why did he not call and tell me in advance?”

   “Is that alien language you're speaking?”

   Who would dare to talk to you? You look like lawbreakers and if you weren't wearing engineering school clothes, you'd think you were guerrilla leaders from the '80s in a Hollywood movie.

   “So, who are you guys again?”

   “I told you, we I'm your brother's friend, didn't you study dentistry, why do you have such a bad memory?

   I want to cry so much...

   “I mean what are your names!”

   “Oh! My name is Kor, the one next to me with the flat shaved head is Jeans and the one behind me with the Chinese look is Yok and the last one with the dark skin like a fashion magazine model is James, OK.”

   “It's not OK at all.”

   “You really, still really deserve it.”

   “What deserves it?”

   “Serves your brother right for saying no one should miss you!” Hmmm! These seniors, not only are they rude, they don't have any human conscience when they talk. I wish I could call up Duean and ask him, what is the point of being friends with such a group of people? To learn from each other or to rob a bank.

   “Why are you still sitting there with a stupid look on your face.”

   “So, where did Duean go?”

   “He didn't say that but he asked us to come over and help you change your image.”

   “Huh?” They all look the same on their own, only a few of them look okay but when put together, the taste is diminished. I wouldn't trust myself in their hands.

   “Stop it, just get out of here.”

   “I don't want to go.”

   “Let's go.”

   “...”

   “If anyone doesn't like you in the future, you don't have to coax and you don't have to chase. You're our friend now anyway, we're not hypocrites, we mean what we say, say what you mean.”

   Sometimes, it's okay not to say anything.

   “Seniors, I...”

   “Pi, you don't have to be afraid, don't worry, I'll be your best friend.”

   “Huh?!” First of all, what do you have to offer to reassure me of that?

   “Nice, just a happy decision.” Phii Kor patted me on the head. That 'ha! ' Is not a sign of acceptance, it's a synonym for shock, you know what I mean?

   It's the shock!!! Scare!!!!

   I was born with no friends, it's rare to have friends but I never thought I'd be so special, so special that I don't know if I'll ever find them again in my life.

   Duean, what have you done...?

   “First things first, Pi, I suggest you get a new haircut.”

   The Chinese-looking Yok was the first to speak. After that I was grabbed by the neck and thrown into the car and taken to a famous shopping mall not far from the school.

   At a glance, only Yok looks like a normal person among these guys, because he doesn't talk as much as the others. Imagine that image: if you suddenly show up with a club president like Pae, you can imagine how exciting it would be.

   I don't think anyone's going to come any closer than that, I guess I'll have to be a bachelor for life.

   “Phii, it's just fine the way it is.”

   “What's so great about it, the way you look, don't even go after Nan, no one will take you up on it!”

   Pfft! Now I take it back, this guy is just as annoying as the other three.

   It's a good thing your friends are gone, otherwise you'd still be running around among them, sigh... Your life is worth very little.

   “Does cutting it make it look good, I've done it before but it makes it look worse afterwards.”

   “When did you cut it?”

   “High until I cut it at the end of my senior year, it's been this mess since then, I only get it cut once in a while.”

   “Dumbass, are you a dentist or a witch doctor? Do you want your hair cut at the barbershop, or do you want me to show you my haircutting skills?”

   Ho-ho... I don't want my ears to be separated from my head.

   “It's better to go to the shop and get it cut.”

   “Here it is, hurry up!”

   He pushed me into a fancy-looking barbershop. When I entered it, I felt fine but when I approached the barber, everyone looked at me, I was so embarrassed, I was at a loss for words.

   “What are you doing here?” The pretty sister asked in a sweet voice as she forced herself to play it cool.

   “Come for a haircut...” Senior Yok replied.

   “What kind of haircut do you want?”

   “Just get a haircut that fits him, short, long, striped, floppy, or just cut his neck off.” And the face joke. Yeah, right! It's my head, not yours, of course you don't care.

   “Let me see it first.” Without further ado, the boss lady takes her hand and squeezes my face, spins it around like a dessert box, face almost explodes, “Hmmmm...”

   “That's a long time to think.” These guys are still fanning the flames.

   “Your student is not bad looking, you can do several types of hairstyles but you have to ask people which ones they want to do first, you can go to magazines and journals and pick them out, see which ones you want to do.”

   When he was done, he bent down and picked his way through the piles of magazines. I opened the magazines too and read them slowly, pointing here and there, exhausting Phii Yok's patience, before his patience ran out, he made my decision for me. Then he left me at the barber's shop, my hair fell out of my head in strands, in little piles on the floor.

   “Uh... Um... Would it be too much of a cut?” Immediately voiced his protest to.

   “Not much, just a little.”

   Tell it straight, “a little” doesn't come out of a barber's mouth, that's not a word!

   It's better to shave my head bald than to cut it so much. Just use a hair pusher, no need to cut with scissors, it's a waste of time.

   I don't know how much time has passed, I sleepily look in the mirror and see the barber cutting my head, by the time I realize it again, Jeans and James are already standing in front of me.

   “Wow~~~Pi, you've gotten a lot more handsome, I can't believe it!”

   So, I looked up and saw myself in the mirror, scary! He's as handsome as Korean star Park Bo Gum!

   But it's not true, it's just self-delusion. It's just the change of hair that makes me look human.

   “That's a cool haircut you have.”

   “So... Can I go back then?”

   “Go back to your head, go, get the glasses thing done again.”

   I was ripped out of my chair right after he said that and went straight to the next task. But man, it's no use being handsome. Because not far from the barber shop, the owner's wife came running out after me, shouting, screaming as if she'd seen a star. I know I'm handsome but please don't go overboard with the compliments, or I'll drift away.

   “O Little Phii”

   “...” No! Please don't scream!

   “Little brother, you forgot to pay!”

   Ah!!!

   Bastard, come back! At first, I thought I'd be fine after being called back to pay but I never thought I'd have to pay in one go. So, I was put on the hair washing bed again, because the transformation was not yet complete. Washing, cutting, coloring, everything went very well. There goes my 4,500 baht, that's a month's worth of food!

   The eyeglass shop was even better, the staff was so friendly but the only bad thing was that the two seniors forced me to wear contact lenses, I couldn't help but think, “Do you have relatives in the eyeglass manufacturing business?

   And yet at this moment, I'm enduring them propping my eyes open, putting clear contact lenses on my eyes with my fingers.

   It's fucking cool.

   “What the hell are you crying about crying, the tears are flooding the store.”

   “It won't fit.” It's not that I want to cry, it's that my eyes are open and dry, that's what happens.

   “How hard can this be? Take it backwards and put it on your eyes!”

   “Why don't you try it? It's not like you're nearsighted!”

   It looks easy but it's not easy to do! I've been sitting in the shop trying them on for almost half an hour.

   “I've waited long enough for you, put your head up, I'll put it on for you.”

   “Ah~~~, No! I don't want it!!!”

   Results...

   Only the old glasses can be put back on.

   We'll talk about it when we're ready. The good thing is that James introduced me to a new pair of glasses. Black frames, clear lenses and they made a huge difference to my face. I didn't know that just changing a frame can make a huge difference to your look.

   “You've become quite the Bad boy, kid but the character is still unbearably timid!”

   “Is that a compliment or a dig?”

   “Both compliments and sarcasm...” Phii Jeans looked with his arms around his chest for a moment and then said “Well, we're both going to leave later, Kor should be done with the movie, let him take you clothes shopping next.”

   “Ow, so where are you going?”

   “I have my own business, don't I? I know you're clingy with your friends but you don't have to be so clingy with me.” He lifted his arms and wrapped them around my neck, just... You're... You're so fucking self-absorbed!

   When did I say I wanted to be friends with you guys?

   But you can't say that, you have to respect your seniors as juniors.

   “Well, you guys get on with it, bye.”

   After Jeans and James left, the gangster Kor emerged. This mission was a bit tiring, I was sweating through the shops, I was tired, I wanted to rest. But look at this energetic senior, he didn't want to stop, he dragged me in here and there, so tired that my muscles didn't seem to move.

   “You know what I hate the most?” The guy suddenly asked meaningfully.

   “I don't know...”

   “So, now that we know...”

   “...”

   “I hate your stripes, if I ever see you in them again, I'll kick your ass! Got it?” What's wrong with my crocodile shirts, I've been wearing them since I was a teenager!

   “Don't understand...”

   “It doesn't look good on you. But if it's on me, that's a different story.”

   “Narcissism at every moment!”

   “Not as self-absorbed as your brother.”

   “Indeed...” I don't refute that.

   Everyone knows how self-absorbed Duean really is.

   “Can I ask you a question?”

   “Yes...”

   “Really like Nan?” He repeatedly asked, so, I looked at him with a serious face, so that he could see the anticipation and spark in my eyes.

   “Do you see anything in my eyes?”

   “Pi, You...”

   “...”

   “You've got a pile of eye poop.”

   “Holy fuck!!!”

   I'm just gonna put it out there. I... I hate this guy Duean from the bottom of my heart.

   After the Gang of Four left, Duean took me to the dentist's office as promised, the dentist has been taking care of me since I got my braces. I have no problem coming here but the problem is that today is not the day we had an appointment with the doctor.

   Everyone is busy doing their own thing.

   “Doctor! Did my brother get his teeth straightened in place?” As soon as he arrived, Duean asked the man in front of him in a voice full of menace.

   Your father is a banker, not a dictator.

   “Yeah...”

   “Three months ago, doctor you said it could be removed, two months ago you said it could be removed, last month you said it could be removed but it wasn't, I just want to ask, can it be removed now... Can he have it removed like right now?” I can't believe he's dragging his voice out. He's just a bit more vulgar with his friends and he chooses his words well according to the occasion but for some reason he's talking so loudly to the doctor today.

   I guess I was afraid the doctor wouldn't remove my braces.

   “It's ready to be removed...”

   “So... Please hurry up and help fetch it.”

   “...”

   “So, excited, can't wait to see my brother get handsome.”

   Using the most advanced tools, the braces were quickly removed, all in about an hour or so and the teeth were given a full cleaning. Once the teeth were done, the day was complete, all that was left to do was to fit the retainer as per the appointment with the doctor.

   “Oh hey~~, whose brother is this? He is really handsome.” The sound of a beaten-up voice, hits a nerve.

   “Duean, I hate you!”

   “You have me to thank for that instead, did you look in the mirror before you came out? Do you know how much you've changed?”

   “You make it sound like I've become Mario.”

   “Even if it's not but it's almost like it.”

   Holy shit! I don't see my face; I want to go home and look in the mirror again. Mario Maurer.

   “Pi, why are you making like you're going to receive an Oscar?”

   “...”

   A dream shattered once again

   “Told you to change yourself, just one thing that won't change.”

   “What?”

   “It's your stupid, old-fashioned demeanor, can't change it, I'll let my friends do it later.”

   “Not required...” I don't want to see you again, so as not to disappoint each other.

   “Don't resist, make yourself nice. Take the cream from my room and rub your face in it and when you're done, go to sleep.”

   “Was it necessary to go that far?”

   “Just... There's an event tomorrow.”

   “What's the event?”

   “It's the 'grand opening' that belongs to you.” I raised my hand and scratched my head in confusion. Duean what the hell is this guy doing, “There's a singles party tomorrow.”

   “...”

   “Asshole, do I still have to be thankful for abandoning me?!”

   Pattawee Panichapun:   There's a silly event today.

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   It's that “bachelor party event” Right?

   Pattawee Panichapun:   Holy shit, how did you know that?

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   He knows all about it.

                                                                                   You're going too?

   Pattawee Panichapun:   My brother forced me to go.

                                              You know what, are you coming or not? I want to meet you.

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   I don’t know if I can go.

   Pattawee Panichapun:   Why don't you go?

                                                  You're afraid of me? I've changed my hair!

                                                  *With pictures*

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

   Pattawee Panichapun:   If you want to compliment me on my good looks, just say so, no need to beat around the bush.

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   Narcissism.

   Pattawee Panichapun:   Compliment me! Compliment me! Give me a compliment!

   The Douchebag from the College next door:   Uh, you're handsome, are satisfied?

   I sat in front of the mirror and laughed out loud, then sent a dancing bear sticker and ended our conversation. And then brought my sanity back to reality.

   I don't know who's running this event but the name of the event is really fucked up, I think I've seen too many movies.

   It's not a big school event either but the reason it's so big and there's a steady stream of people attending, is because it's held in the name of dumped singles. But I've never been dumped, I've just had people ignore me and I've shamelessly pestered them.

   “Pi, what the hell is that outfit you're wearing?” As I came out in my croc striped shirt and straight pants, Jaems senior swooped in and grabbed me by the neck and asked.

   “I like it.”

   “What about the dress you bought with Kor?”

   “I'm not used to wearing them...”

   “Then try to get used to it!” After it was over everyone came over and told me what to do and I, had no choice.

   Actually, these seniors have a special name: “The Kitty Gang”. I was shocked when I first heard that, I guess they thought they looked like Hello Kitty.

   But somehow, when I wanted to stay away from them, I unconsciously started to try to force myself to join the friendship team.

   Duean's a bitch, Yok's mouth is full of teeth, James is rude, Jeans is a sinner, Kor's a dick too.

   In short, they're no good. But since I've known them, I've never once been talked behind my back from them. Even though I'm such a terrible person.

   A lot of the time, they say very rude things to me but I know it's all just friends having fun with each other.

   Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute! Do I have to be friends with them after all?

   “Oi Oi, black jacket, white jacket?” Yok lifted up his shirt to show Duean.

   “Not quite OK, try a white coat, black jacket.”

   “I don't think so! It's better to wear all black!” Finally decided to follow Phii Jeans's advice.

   Then the room descended into chaos once again. The pants were off, only the pants were left, clothes were tried on, shoes flew off to who knows where. This is a party for the dumped, how can you go that far?

   “Done! Pi schoolboy, go take a look in the mirror.”

   I was pushed and shoved to a large mirror with a full view and the image that came into view, made me raise my hand and pat my face, so that I could realize that this was not a dream.

   I'm wearing glasses, a black polo shirt and jeans but why do I feel a change that I can't explain.

   This is not me! But it's what I've been longing to see deep down.

   “Du... Duean... face my face!”

   “Your brother's speaking alien again eh, so fucking annoying.”

   “No, I'm annoyed too, everything else can be changed, it's the personality that can't be changed, it takes time. Come on, you try to look like us, be cool and see!”

   “For what?” Think that's cool?

   “Well, just try it.”

   So, I coughed, put my hands in my trouser pockets and lifted my chin slightly.

   “Hello everyone, I'm Pattawee of good looks and good character!”

   “It's ruined! Pi you're all ruined, what kind of person would say such a narcissistic thing, with your mediocre looks, you still have the nerve to ask people to compliment you.”

   “That Duean guy still likes to boast a lot.” Defiantly, he protested.

   When I saw the look on everyone's face, all the courage and confidence fell to the ground at once.

   “Here's the deal...” My brother hurried in and grabbed my shoulders, looked at me with a serious face and said, “At the event today, you don't have to say anything, just act like a stranger, if it's really not an option, then just say one word.”

   “Say what?”

   “Just say 'yes'...”

   “...”

   “Got it?”

   “Got it...” Said without forgetting to do what he said, make a serious face.

   “Good, then let's go.”

   “...”

   “Let's let our hair down today!”

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