I’ll Still Love You Even if You’re a Man 2 《你是男的我也爱》Ni Shi Nan De Wo Ye Ai
I’ll Still Love You Even if You’re a Man 2, Chapter 77: An-Ziyan.
An-Ziyan has disappeared, no one knows where he went, and everyone didn't look for him including Mai Ding, something that everyone knew that at that moment An-Ziyan needed something that no one can afford to give, and Mai Ding knows that he must let An-Ziyan calm himself down, and if he goes to An-Ziyan now, he will be in a worse mood than An-Ziyan and he will be the one to break down first, and that would, in turn, become An-Ziyan have to find a way of comforting him, the grandfather who was the most important to An-Ziyan, the only one who could make the An-Ziyan's obedient, the grandfather who took up most of An-Ziyan's life, the grandfather who loved An-Ziyan the most and even approved of him. His particularly sentimental grandfather, who was gone, and how Mai Ding could bear and be cruel enough to allow An-Ziyan to comfort him.
Affection and love are two parallel emotions, and neither of them can fill the void between them or replace anyone.
No one waited until the day of the funeral, and how much did this last face mean to An-Ziyan. Mai Ding wore a black suit and kept a smile on his face, hoping to see his grandfather off one last time with a smile on his face and trying to be strong again even if it is a little, strong enough to not have to ask for comfort this time, but give it to An-Ziyan.
All the New Year's arrangements no longer made sense because of the sudden change, the sky was gloomy, everyone's moods were gloomy, probably Grandpa is the only one who is so peaceful, and he says he's going to be selfish and find happiness where it belongs so that no one should be sad for him. But no matter what kind of argument the one who is leaving uses, it can't comfort the one left behind.
Don't be sad that I'm leaving.
It's so easy to say that, show me who can do it, who can manage to even leave is a challenge for them at the end.
As the funeral attendees gradually left, An-Xun and the others continued to busy themselves with their grandfather's funeral, and Mai Ding stood alone in front of the tombstone for a long time. The wintry wind ruffled his hair and blew over his coat, and the grandfather in the photo in the tombstone smiled and peered at Mai Ding.
"Do you think I'm brave enough, Grandpa? I haven't cried today. If you don't think I'm brave enough, help me. I'm going to find An-Ziyan. I'm going to bring him to you so he can come face to face to say goodbye to you properly." Mai Ding turned and went away, he knew where to find An-Ziyan, he was like a man forced to grow up overnight, An-Ziyan had stood and shielded in front of him numerous times, and this time it was his turn anyway.
The cabin in the woods, unaware that its owner had left it behind, still waited unchanged and quiet, and Mai Ding stood outside the door for a moment, took a deep breath and pushed open the unlocked wooden door, which found a heavy creak. When he saw An-Ziyan, it was as if someone had plunged a sharp knifepoint into his heart, and the situation was even worse than he had imagined. An-Ziyan sat on the floor, bending his knees, his hands hanging at his sides, with his head buried, and when he heard a noise, he raised his face with a confused expression turning to Mai Ding, "Mai Ding, where's Grandpa?" It was as if he was a child, as if he didn't know his grandfather was gone, and Mai Ding bit his lower lip.
Where is that capricious, boring, casual An-Ziyan, the one who always wears an evil expression to amuse Mai Ding? The An-Ziyan in front of him was not the An-Ziyan that Mai Ding knew, and he finally understood why his grandfather had asked him to save An-Ziyan when Mai Ding believed that Save is too serious a word, but as expected of her grandfather, An-Ziyan couldn't cope with his death, even though many things didn't matter. He also has weaknesses that he cares about very much, even if he thinks he's obviously so perfect.
What to do to save him, Mai Ding didn't know the way, didn't know the language, didn't even know whether to approach. The pain of An-Ziyan was not expressed on his face but kept emanating from his body, causing the air to not escape, and the things around him to wilt it was as if they were feeling was with him. The further Mai Ding took a step forward, the deeper the tip of the knife stuck in his heart. He crouched in front of An-Ziyan and deliberately didn't answer his question: "An-Ziyan, tell me what to do, I'll do whatever you tell me to do I'll be good and obedient, I'll never teach you a lesson again, okay, An-Ziyan?" As if he hadn't heard what Mai Ding had said, An-Ziyan stood up bracing himself on the ground, "I have to bring the photo album to Grandpa, he was talking about it yesterday.”
"You already gave Grandpa the photo album."
"No, you're remembering wrong." An-Ziyan was walking towards the locker, Mai Ding hugged An-Ziyan hard from behind, "Don't do that, don't do that, Grandpa is gone.”
"Where did he go?"
Mai Ding stiffened, he had to make An-Ziyan realize the truth, even though he so, so didn't want to hurt An-Ziyan, and how much he wanted to tell An-Ziyan that, Grandpa An was in the hospital, the doctor had cured him and he was waiting for him to return. He really wanted to tell An-Ziyan and himself this way, so they could pretend for a while. But he finally just told the cold and cruel truth: "Grandpa is dead, he's dead, didn't you know that? You were standing there watching Grandpa die too!!!"
His icy words were met with an equally icy reply from An-Ziyan: "Even if it is you, if you say anything else, I will..." he broke off from Mai Ding hold on him, Mai Ding wasn't afraid and shouted, his voice ringing through the room, "What will you do, will you hit me? Go ahead and hit me! I saw grandpa cremated and buried today. It's useless, An-Ziyan. No one can save grandpa including you." An-Ziyan's hands balled into fists and gritted his teeth at Mai Ding, who would rather An-Ziyan hit himself, who could use it as an outlet without complaint. It wasn't that he was humble, he too desperately needed to do something for An-Ziyan.
His own feelings for Grandpa An were deep, but compared to An-Ziyan's feelings for his grandfather, Mai Ding’s were worthless, and what An-Ziyan was enduring inside right now How painful it was that he couldn't get An-Ziyan to share some of himself.
~ I’ll Still Love You Even if You’re a Man 2 (Sequel) ~
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