My Accidental Love is You, Chapter 40: Concern from the Adorable Fool

My Accidental Love is You 《รักนี้บังเอิญคือคุณ 》Rak Ni Bang-oen Khuo Khun
My Accidental Love is You, Chapter 40: Concern from the Adorable Fool

Tin


Lately, I've been feeling tired because of a lot of things, but my life is still the same, so I wake up, take a shower, go to school, and don't really get along with others. Dealing only if he thinks it's good for his future to go to an event where he'll sit and study some very old things his dad showed him. It's an old file but... He's still too young to say anything.

It's just something that happened a long time ago, something that doesn't make you tired... But every time I think about the person I called stupid, I get tired.

It's not so much the body or the mind that's tired, it's the heart.

Every time I think it's better to be a deserving person than a sympathetic one, but when my head is quiet, I get... Thinking about how Can would have looked at me if I hadn't told him that day that I lied to him? Would he have a completely different attitude than before?!

“What nonsense are you thinking about?!” I said to myself as I walked towards the dining room thinking that no one should be eating at the same table as me but...

“I immediately looked up and saw my only nephew sitting there eating his breakfast and was surprised to see that they had come back to live in this house.

“Mom wants Phu to come and stay with us” he said slowly before I could ask him and I was left speechless.

“I didn't ask you!”

“You don't look like you want to have dinner with me and your brother.”

I was silent and didn't want to say another word to him because I knew that even if I fought with him, it wouldn't do any good for me. This has happened many times and in the end it turned out to be my own fault.

Son-of-a-train, kind brother, loving father, compassionate husband.

He was a master of all roles, and if someone hadn't told me the truth, I'd have thought that day I must have been... I misheard...

“Why? Dad, did you do something to upset Uncle Tin?” My nephew asked his father and with a warm smile he answered his son like a fatherly figure.

“Oh yes, Dad, what did you do to upset Uncle Tin?”

“I don't know.”

“Daddy doesn't know ah but what he does know is that you must eat all your rice oh”

“I've had enough.”

“You've only eaten half of it.”

“I'm full. I'm going to have some milk. I'm full.”

“Hahaha you're such a naughty boy” I listened to their father and son then spoke slowly.

“When are you going to stop acting like that?”

“Acting? What acting?” I stared at my brother and saw him smiling at me the same way he'd smiled at me years ago, but I was probably too young to notice it then. The way he looked at me when he looked at me as if I were air, felt worthless in his eyes, even to his own son. There were times when I even felt that the way he looked at his own son was not the kind of love a father would look at his son with, although he often put this so-called love it’s on my lips.

“You are a gift of love from God.”

He was so touched and Mom and Dad were so happy but why did I feel like those words were so fake? It didn't even seem like it came from the heart.

Now I'm too lazy to argue with him about something I'll never win against him so I turn around and prepare to walk back.

“Uncle Tin aren't you going to eat with me?” My nephew asked me pitifully and I was startled.

“I'm going to be late,” I replied and strode out of the room. The voice of the man who was eating his porridge with his head down sounded again.

“You asked...”

I stopped and listened.

“... If I've been acting all this time, why shouldn't I keep it up?” It's enough to hear that. Like I said, maybe I'll never be able to beat him. My brother's a monster. He's got a cover. His own demons still won't let go of being a brother even now when he's answering my questions.

As I walked out of the dining room, I heard his voice behind me.

“Maybe something will come along soon that will make you happy.” I had to watch out for him.

Today, I felt particularly tired again, even though I looked as if nothing had happened, even though I was seen as a cold and unreasonable Tin. But I get tired too, maybe because of something my brother said this morning, or something my mother did, or something else that's been going on. The things that linger in my mind make me feel tired and worn out...

I probably didn't fit in at school without some friends to hang out with, some friends that money could buy, some friends to drink with, and some friends that made me... Women who get off on it, or people they meet at parties they have to go to, but... It's so much more tiring than meeting them.

“Hey,” I sighed, touching my nose with my finger as I walked to the parking lot, and suddenly I turned around and looked in the direction of the soccer stadium, blocked by the building but still wanting to go there.

“How boring.” I drove this thought out of my mind and got into my car. I saw a few no's on the wipers in front of the car. Knowing which shop's advertising leaflet complained softly if I didn't see a sheet of A4-sized workbook paper I almost took them Disposed of as garbage.

I'd be surprised if it was a prank to flip it over and let it go. Wouldn't it be better if people saw it? I opened the car door and brought it over to look at it.

Uh...

I was startled and then immediately got into the car and looked down at the paper in my hand again.

.... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

The writing was so small it was hard to read, and the paper had been altered... and it felt like whoever wrote it had written it several times.

I'm sorry... I don't really want to say I'm sorry, but it's stuck in my mind. You don't have to call me stupid anymore. I am just stupid enough to come and apologize to you again and again the day I said something to you that was a little harsh, but who cares who you are? You lied to me first, didn't you? But I don't want to put this on myself. Anyway, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I didn't mean to.

PS: Well you should f.ucking also leave me a sorry bastard!

I read the contents of the paper again and again and do not know what the inner feeling is to write my name wrong even if the pen is very casual as well. That's a really old-fashioned way to apologize for the alterations on the paper, but I couldn't help but say it.....

“Idiot!” And then I squeezed the paper tightly and looked out the window and saw my reflection in the rearview mirror..... Smiling like a man who is crying himself.

Tin was laughing at the words he used to say that he'd rather be lied to than say he was sorry.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's as if I'm drowning and can breathe again...

I'm not so tired anymore because of this piece of paper...

“It's stupid to care about someone like me...”

Pete.




“I can help you!”

“No,”

I asked Ae with high hopes and his answer was so disappointing because I've been fighting with him for a week about this although Pond said it wasn't like I was fighting but I did try and it's not like we were fighting about anything else.

“You let your boyfriend help you. You have a lover, you take advantage of it.”

Yes, the thing we're fighting about is... cramming for exams.

The whole university is in a tense atmosphere for the exams. Yes, it's nearing the exam period. Although it has nothing to do with the International College, I was fascinated by the file that Ae and Pond got from Cha-am in the Art Department.

I kept repeating the same questions and got the same answers, but Pond couldn't stand it.

“I'm not you!” Ae said, looking a little angry, and Pond snapped at me.

“Then don't copy my girlfriend's summary!”

“... “I was a little frustrated and I really wanted to help him, but we were in different departments. Different things were completely different from him and trying to help him was only a small favor together with something very insignificant.

“Hahaha haha can't say it,”

Pah! ～I'm sorry.

“Oh my!”

“Is it true that when you have a lover you have to make the most of it? Do you still want these summaries?!”

I didn't know either. I don't know when Cha-am came down, but he must've heard the words, “If you have a lover, make the most of it,” because Cha-am... -Pond screamed at the top of his lungs and Cha-am didn't care if he hit me with a book. Laughing.

“Hello Pete, are you here to help Ae?”

“Uh huh?!” I asked looking towards Ae who was still avoiding my eyes...

“Oi Pete don't you know you asked me to summarize your exam points for you?” Cha-am turned to Ae and asked me to be a little depressed.

It means that Ae would rather ask Cha-am for help than let me help him so that's why he keeps rejecting me.

“I turned around and looked at him and then at Ae, whose eyebrows were furrowed into a ball.

“I'm not embarrassed!”

“It's a suspicious voice!” Well yes, Ae's voice was hard and felt like he was angry.

“Then Ae, why don't you let me help you?” I don't know why I asked. He gave me a startled look, as if he didn't know how to answer. Pond laughed. “Tell him why he can't summarize the key points for you.

“Say tell him why not let him help you summarize the main points ah?” Pond asked laughing and staring at us again feeling Pond's eyes making him even more depressed.

“Hey, why are you so nosy? You come here!” Cha-am took his boyfriend's arm but turned to me and said.

“There's no one on the second floor. Go upstairs and talk. You're... I looked around and saw that we weren't the only ones down there... but the other students and staff were all headed our way. It seems to be because of me.

This seemed to remind Ae at the same time he moved his body and said slowly.

“Go to the interview.”

I followed Ae to the second floor, which was also the library of the hospital, but there was no one on the other side to talk to Ae. Ae was the first to open up.

“I know he's worried about me, but I still have a reason to argue with him.

“But Cha-am has exams too. Why do you bother?”

“Because she's studying with me.”

“I've seen your English textbook too. It's not that hard for me.” Yes, the Level 1 English textbook is really easy for me. It's just common grammar. I read it for a few minutes and I can help him.

“And Cha-am is already in Level 3.” I never used to argue with him, but this time he let someone else... I do feel... angry. Angry.

“Come on, I don't need your help anyway.”

“You have no basis for your words.”

He turned and looked at me then said to me in annoyance.

“Are you going to make me beg Chompoo to help me tutor?!”

After hearing him say that it felt like the whole earth started to shake and I don't know why there was a feeling in my heart that I couldn't say when he brought the third party into it I kept my mouth tightly shut.

I don't know why Ae doesn't want to tell me but I know I should stop if I don't want him to get even more angry because of my unreasonable behavior. I should stop even though I'm in a bad mood now.

“I'm sorry ah I'm being unreasonable let's go down Cha-am and Pond must have been waiting for a long time...” I tried to smooth out my tone and forced a smile, then headed downstairs to tell him that I would never again. It's a struggle.

Whether to suffer in silence or let Ae near another woman I'd rather be depressed like this.

Pah! ～Pah!



“Let me go to hell it's not you that's being unreasonable it's me!” Ae said holding my hand before I was about to go downstairs cursed himself so softly that I couldn't even look up at him just to look at Look down at your feet.

I don't want him to see me crying over something so trivial.

This must be the first time we've ever fought like this...

“Pete, look up at me. I was still staring and I felt his grip on my hand tighten and he sighed and said.

“Sorry,”

I shook my head and tried to tell him I hadn't done anything wrong. Why apologize to me? But I still didn't say it.

Pah! ～Pah!

“!!!!”

“What the hell... You're about to cry.” He's always got me speechless.

“I'm sorry I was so rude I shouldn't have brought Chompoo into it!” I know it was my fault but as soon as Ae said Chompoo I felt so bad I couldn't help but compare myself to her...and I still question. Why he didn't let me help him with his tuition...

“The tutoring thing...”

“It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.”

Pah! ～

“Don't interrupt and let me finish.” He cut me off.

“I don't want you to think I'm bad.”

Uh huh?!

“Yes you don't know how bad my English is I can't even remember grammar that some elementary school kids can remember let alone this tongue-twisting grammar. You're going to keep putting up with me reciting this grammar like a schoolboy putting up with someone who can't remember this no matter how much you memorize it....”

“But I.”

“I don't want to be embarrassed when I go down there.” I wanted to tell him that there was nothing to it because everyone was good at something. I don't know why he's so afraid of embarrassment...

“I don't know why I've become like this. I was willing to accept that I was short and stupid, but only you... You're the only one who's making me start to feel this way...” He took another deep breath then said softly.

“I want to be the perfect man for you.”

“...”

“Isn't that stupid?”

“Ae” the voice choked in my throat...

“Well! I know you're going to think I'm dogmatic and the reason I won't let you tutor me is because I don't want you to see me this badly in your Eyes I wish I'd been a great man all along, though I do hang my head.”

I don't know what kind of face I'm supposed to make, but I smile when I hear that.

Would it be wrong if I said I thought Ae was cute?

He wants to be the perfect man for me, but I want to tell him...

“No, you've always been a great man to me.”

“You don't have to put a high hat on me” I looked up at his face to see Ae immediately ducking his eyes and looking away I thought he might be shy so I couldn't help but laugh.

“What are you laughing at?!”

“No” I quickly denied but I felt like he didn't believe me.




“What are you laughing at?!” “Nothing,” I said quickly but he didn't believe me. ～Aaah!

“Oh hey Ae!!!”

“Don't laugh at me. You're the reason I'm not myself anymore.”

I'm happy that Ae is not the same person because I'm not the only one who feels this way and wants to be perfect for her.

“Then let me help you with your lessons.”

“No!” I asked again and he still insisted on rejecting me but this time I didn't feel angry or depressed anymore instead of grinning.

Ae

I'm so shy. Yes, you heard me right, I'm really shy.

“What's so hard about it? It's the same sentence as before, just a change of vocabulary... “It's getting dark, but I'm still struggling because Cha-am has been tutoring me for almost a year now. Hours but this knowledge just doesn't feel like it's getting into my head.

Bring me your physics homework and correct it!!!!

I cursed Cha-am and Pond, who was reading about beach trips. Pond was sitting across from me and next to me was Pete, who had just gotten his laptop from the car and was writing his own report. I don't really want to be so gossipy, but his eyes sometimes glance towards my English textbook and it's embarrassing.

Is it wrong to want to be the perfect man for him?

Again, I thought to myself, “Well, I'm not the kind of person who wants to show off how good I am, and I've never looked at myself that way, but in Pete's eyes I've always been a good person, and I've always been the kind of person who can help him solve his problems, so I don't want to disappoint him.

But it felt like he already knew how bad my English was.

“I'm sorry” I apologized to the person who had been teaching me so much because I was so stupid Cha-am shook his head I even wondered how Chompoo could put up with my midterm exams!

“It's okay take your time remembering no one can become a school bully in a day”

“It's not that I'm gossiping, he's been remembering it for more than a day since he was in elementary school! It's been more than ten years but I just can't remember that his native language is even worse”.

“Nobody treats you like a dumb Pond if you don't talk.”

“I really wanted to beat him up all over the place, but what he said was true and I had to sigh again.

“I think you should face the wall. It's almost like you are reading what book ah? I'm not going to be able to do that. Don't wait for me to yell at him. Pond has a great girlfriend. She's already helped me. He cursed him for being so retarded and then leaned his head on her shoulder Cha-am very rudely pushed away.

“Cha-am, having fun is the most important thing on earth... Then the exams... Well, fun is just as important as exams.” He changed his tone when he saw Cha-am about to hit him over the head with a book. And then he turned and looked at me.

“You can ask Ae if you don't believe me. All our high school friends are going this time.”

I just remembered that Pond had already planned to go out with some of his friends after the holidays when he entered the exam period, but I had forgotten all about it because my mind was preoccupied with other things he said.

“So who's going?”

“Pond's mouth was full of ramblings and rumblings, but he seemed to have aroused the interest of the people around him.

“Sun and Dear is the last birthday when the two people came?”

“Yes they are, but yesterday Sun called and it seems that Dear is going to take his husband with him.”

“Wait isn't Dear a guy?” Pond said Cha-am then asked if it were me I would have asked the same thing Pond said about the one called Painted Then Pond laughed and looked at me so hard I wanted to pick up my pen and stab him in the mouth!!!!

“It's a guy ah but not an attack I don't know.....”

“Pond!” Pond drove off in a huff and I sighed and had to come out and explain.

“Everyone's a boy, it's just that now Dear seems to be dating boys.”

“As for Sun, he also has a wife who is a boy in the same department.” Pond immediately went on to say I sighed and said that some things shouldn't be brought out like that, but I still let him go because he had already said it.

“Great! One by one, they've all come out of the closet. I'd like to go with them.” I saw Cha-am winking at me.

“I won't let you!” I thought Pond would be happy to hear that from his girlfriend, but he refused, shaking his head again.

“Why? Is there something you're not telling me that's why I can't go?” I don't think Cha-am will go, but it's not because... Pond's mouth is full of nonsense he glances around then mumbles.

“I can't let you go back. What if you change your mind?”

“Huh?!”

“Those friends of mine were born without knowing what thunderbolt was in the sky if you met Sun and were charmed by his good looks. What to do? Or what if you're overcome by Dear's competence? No, I can't let you go. You'll just have to get to know the short guy.” I really wanted to go up there and beat the crap out of him. I'm the shortest among friends but it's irritating that he keeps going on and on like that!

“If you don't go, you don't go” Cha-am was probably feeling tired because of Pond then turned to Pete who was sitting next to me looking interested as well.

“So Pete are you going?”

Pah! ~

“Oh Huh!” I couldn't stand Pond any longer and kicked hard at him then turned to Pete.




“You don't have to go,” I said sternly, and he looked very disappointed.

“Well, it's okay if I don't go.”

“It's not that I won't let you go.”

I've been talking out of turn lately, just like Pond thought.

“What's that, friend? Pond has the nerve to ask me that.

“Nosy!”

“Well I'm gossipy, so why don't you give me three reasons not to let Pete go? Why don't you just come out of the closet with such a handsome guy? I'm sure they'll be jealous. Ae's got a beautiful little wife... I'll shut up. I'm afraid I won't live to see the day.” He went back to his seat and sat down, and I looked at him with a foggy face. Pete.

“Three reasons, right?” I said, and then I held up three fingers and continued.

“Because of Sun, because of Sun, because of Sun!”

“Huh? Sun?! Hey oh oh oh oh oh oh! I got it.”

“Uh Sun, what happened to him?” Pete must have forgotten what happened the last time he saw him, and even Pond, who was so nosy, understood out loud. He's nodding his head and he doesn't even know why...

“Jealous, of course!” I have the nerve to ask me Pete stunned and then shook his head.

“I don't have any thoughts about Sun and Pond said he already has a boyfriend....”

“I don't believe it.”

Forehead

The first time I saw it, I was startled. I still can't forget that bastard eating my boyfriend's tofu thing actually took a group photo with him and his face was almost touching, so he said again in a heavier tone.

“It's not that I can't trust you I'm sure I can but I can't trust him! He doesn't take you away but that doesn't mean he won't use you to bully me.”

Just seeing him get too close to Pete made me furious.

That answer seemed to silence everyone at the table.

“Your answer sometimes makes people feel shy without even realizing it.” Cha-am made me look confused and think. What he just said...

“... I'm sure I can trust you...”

I almost stretched out my hand to cover my eyes and didn't dare to look at anyone Pond but cast a very mean look Cha-am is also imitating himself sitting next to his own Pete face more red than the original.

“So, what's up, let Pete go or not?”

“No,” I replied insistently, “Pete's not gonna be able to stand up to all my friends who've got mouths to feed, so... I'm not surprised by what happened next.....

“Oh it's not that I don't trust you... it's just that I don't trust my friends... tsk tsk tsk tsk... my friends are so cute!”

Pah! ～Pah!

I couldn't take it anymore and jumped on the table and chased after Pond wanting to kick the cunt to death this time without letting you see blood. I'm not called Shorty Melon!

“Pete would you be sexually interested if you saw a man more handsome than Ae?” Even though I was chasing after Pond to kick him, I heard Cha-am's question to his boyfriend and then his reply. It made me run after Pond even harder, ready to kick him to death.

“No, Ae's is the best thing for me.”




Okay, I admit it... I ran after Pond because I was shy.

~~ My Accidental Love is You ~~

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