My Accidental Love is You, Chapter 14: What's wrong with love like that?

My Accidental Love is You 《รักนี้บังเอิญคือคุณ 》Rak Ni Bang-oen Khuo Khun
My Accidental Love is You, Chapter 14: What's wrong with love like that?

Pete.



Today was the first day of the Freshman Cheerleading Activities, and I was supposed to go to this kind of event wholeheartedly, but some thoughts about someone kept lingering in my mind, so much so that I didn't even know what I was doing up on the stage.

Luckily, the school didn't ask as much of us at the International Academy as it did of the other colleges, and like Sister Money said, there wasn't much of a threshold. Freshmen from other colleges have to stand straight in the stands, the atmosphere is serious, and our side has no big problem as long as it's not too lazy, or I'm screwed.

Also thankfully, our college went up at the beginning, and after that, I didn't have much going on, and several of my classmates asked me to see other colleges perform. After watching, most of the people went back to their dormitories, as it was quite late until all the colleges came up, plus the final performance of the school's honor guard.

“Nong Pete, do you want to go back now? You can stay with your sister, oh handsome brother." P’Money hooked her hands around my arms, and I had to stifle a smile.

"Geez! You only looked at the little handsome guys, and you thought about forcing people like this. You really have a hard-working harassment suit coming up, where are the noble appearances you put on weekdays, sister?"

"When did you get the idea that I was forcing Nong Pete!!!!"

"Oops, now Sis's bloody mouth can open so wide, eh, I seem to see a buffalo inside eating your tongue mess... "

"You bxtchy maid! You... Nong Pete, Sister is not going to force you ah, you want to go back Sister will not keep you, put your truest thoughts out, Sister is okay na." Only to see Sister Money turn around and get into another argument with his little sister before looking back at me, I hesitated a little. I feel a bit ashamed because I came over today, oh no, I've been selfish since the day I agreed to attend freshman Cheer camp.

I wanted to see Ae on the stand.

I finally didn't hold back and took that excuse off the table.

"Sister Money, when is the Engineering Academy going on stage?" I turned to Sister Money and asked her, and when she heard it she hurried out the appearance order sheet and looked it over.

"Uh... where is it... Engineering... Engineering... "

"Ow! Can you guys tell us what is going on at the front!!!!"

Suddenly.

Turns out, before I could get a response from Sister Money, a majestic and powerful voice came from the entryway and several people twisted their heads to look. The answer to that question is coming to me in a line to enter.

The engineering academy's procession was led by seniors in dark red engineering uniforms who came in loudly, with serious expressions and made way for those standing at the entrance to make way for them. The students in front of them would be the first to reach the back of the team when they saw any situation, very neat and coordinated.

"There are stairs ahead... there are stairs ahead... there are stairs ahead... " the reminder voice that came back from the front was neatly aligned with the pace of the crowd. The College of Engineering has the largest number of people in the school, but that doesn't detract from their neatness, it adds to their vocal presence.

"Well, well, well! Come on, come on! It's all boys!!!!" Sister Money was right on the money, 80% of the students in the Engineering College ranks that were walking up the stairs in unison were boys, a number equal to the sum of four or five other college boys combined.

"Let's be honest, such a large number of people must be from the Engineering Academy, Nong Pete, but so many people can still walk so neatly, those who don't see and feel like they are participating in military training, they don't even know what this can do... " I absentmindedly listened to Sister Money commenting on the Engineering Academy's team, but my eyes were looking for someone in the crowd... Then I saw him.

Just because I looked at him one more time in the crowd, I never forgot your face...

I don't know how I was able to find Ae among the multitude of students, nor do I know what Ae looks like in the eyes of others. But in my eyes, Ae was a standout, only to see him with a cold, nonchalant expression, his hair cut crisply, and his uniform on neatly striding through the crowd of students.

My heart longed for you to see you at last, and to stand before the crowd with great splendor.

"That short, dark annoying elf is also in the Engineering College, right Nong Pete? But with so many people, it must be hard to find that friend of yours." Money was quietly discussing it with me next to me, and I smiled and just wouldn't tell her that I had already found Ae, and... that my coming here had been for him and my gaze had not been on anyone's person before.

I wanted to go over to him, to talk to him, to ask him if he was okay these days, but cowardice stopped me in my tracks.

After not seeing him for a few days, will he get attached to Chompoo?

I thought about this with a drained expression, only to stare blankly at the boy. I've been thinking about a lot of things these past few days, including my own humble sense of entitlement, which has kept me from going to him. I know Ae is a very kind person and one day there will be a girl who sees his kindness as I do. Every time I think about it I get a nameless burst of pain in my heart that hurts so much.

Maybe in Ae's eyes being gay isn't a wrong thing to do, but in my eyes being a straight guy is a lot better anyway.

I'm GAY, and in the months leading up to meeting Ae, I went through every day with a lot of pain about my sexual orientation. I was afraid that my family would know, I was afraid that my mother would be disappointed in me, I was afraid to say anything about it to anyone. I'm afraid of being stigmatized, of being called a pervert, of being gender cognitive disordered, of being disgusting. Because I know this well, I understand the mood, and I've experienced it, so I don't want Ae to suffer the finger-pointing of others for no reason like I do.

I knew that Ae wasn't lying to me, that every word he said to me that evening was sincere, that he was adjusting himself to slowly lean toward me, to be biased toward me. I should be happy, but that's not how I feel anymore.

If one day he's going to be as much criticized as I am, will I be able to bear it?

Many people say that Thai society is more open and enlightened now than ever before, but how many pairs of parents can actually accept the fact that boys fall in love with boys? How many more families are willing to publicly state that their sons don't like girls? Instead, they say that precisely because we live in this society, we should respect the laws of this society.

I don't want Ae to suffer as much as I do, it's better for him to like a girl than a guy.

Even though I'm sad, on the other hand, I'm a little relieved that Chompoo showed up at just the right time that she was able to keep Ae on the straight and narrow path by showing up when Ae was in a daze... unlike me.

I'm going crazy! I'm going to cry.

I blinked hard to keep it from dripping down when I felt a warm stream beating in my eyes. I made up my mind not to see Ae, at least so that the pain in my heart could be lessened. I've asked Ae to help me enough, and it's time I did something for him.

"Sister Money, I'll go back first... "

"Ow, aren't you waiting for a friend? Engineering College's performance is almost over." Sister Money raised her hand and glanced at her watch, and I smiled at her and shook my head slightly.




"No, so many people, I guess I won't be able to find my friends, then I'll go first!" I raised my hand to say goodbye to Money, then glanced at Ae in the queue, and finally squeezed out of the crowd that had been gathering and moving. By this time everyone was heading inside, and it took me a few tries to get out of the crowd against the wall and walk to the entrance. But before I had a chance to step outside the gate, the Engineering College show was just about over.

Eventually, I could only stand at the entrance, flash to the side, and watch the line of Engineering students exit in a row. But now I don't dare look at anyone, just stand with my head down. After a while, after the entire academy had exited the venue, I took a long breath and walked out.

I am not going to run into a crowd, no matter what.

Having just spent so much time in such a cramped and crowded place, I took a deep breath of the fresh air outside and cheered myself on while comforting myself. I smiled sadly as I watched the team from the Engineering College leave.

Heartache.

I wandered aimlessly on the road, intending to go home, but somehow made my way to the football field, which was unusually cold today as most people had run to another stadium for the event.

"Hey, why are you crying like a little kid, Ai’Pete? "As soon as I saw this soccer field, I felt tears coming to my eyes, my mind was filled with images of Ae running around the field, and I wanted to curse myself for being so indiscreet.

"Go back Pete... go back... "

Poof!

Despite what I said to myself with my mouth, I sat down on the roadbed all at once and buried my head in my lap, and I felt my shoulders shuddering.

The thought of Ae liking a girl in my mind makes me unbearable, I can't stand it, I just want to be your friend for life. But like people I always have to wait and see, especially when I think about the fact that Ae has shown his heart to me, I can't easily cut the ties.

The roots of my love have been planted deep, and my tears are hovering in the air.

Thump... thump.

sudden

"What are you avoiding me for Ai’Pete!!!!"

"!!!!"

I heard footsteps coming from behind, but I didn't have time to look back, shoulders were like being grabbed and lifted up, then I heard a fierce voice full of resentment, I looked at each other like a frightened little bird.

“Ai’Ae."

"Well, it's me!!!!" The boy in front of me, panting and half-soaked in his school uniform, is the one I'm haunted by to the point of madness.



Ae

I'm super pissed off!!!

At first I planned to go to him after the parade show, but when I got to the stand, the side light out of the corner of my eye saw the man I'd wanted to see day and night running down!

Pete, who never knew how much of a crane he was, was recognized at a glance by me in the crowded stands, despite my gaze looking ahead and my mouth singing the school song. He was also looking my way, but suddenly he was squeezing away the rest of the audience and running outside. I'm so anxious to see this parade end right where it left off.

After the show, I had to follow the procession out of the venue in an orderly fashion, which made me want to get my soul out of my body and get to him right away. I tried to find a moment to look for it, only to find myself surrounded by seniors and sisters before and after, watching me like a secret agent. When I recovered, I spread my legs and ran, as if I had been possessed by a ghost, to the place where I had just seen him, but I couldn't find him and my phone was off. I was stunned for a few minutes, and then wondering if I'd gotten the oracle hint, I immediately made a beeline for the football field entrance.

I was like, if I don't see this guy today, I'm going to intercept him in front of his college early Monday morning!

But as if God didn't want me to wait too long either, because I'd already seen him. I saw a white skinned, skinny boy standing next to the road, then all at once sat down and hugged his knees tightly. I couldn't think of anything at the time except to run over to him at the first opportunity and hold him close.

You're in the horizon when I am missing you, and you're in front of me when I am thinking about you.

I won't let you slip away from me again!

He turned his head to look at me with a look of horror, but I was even more shocked when I saw his tears.

Fxxk, don't act like you already know I'm gonna come running up to you and yell at you!

“Ai’Ae, where are you taking me!!!!"

I cursed darkly in my mind, pulling his arm in the other direction, no matter how much he yelled at the side, until I pulled him to a place by the court where there was nothing.

Pop...

"Well, hurry up and tell me why you're avoiding me before my anger soars to the top." I pushed him against a leaning tree, voice full of anger, eyes sharp, and he was deliberately avoiding my gaze.

A moment

"Look me in the eye!" Now I don't care if that makes him uncomfortable, the situation is getting to me hard enough right now. If I can't force Pete to tell the truth today, I'd rather go kiss Pond's ass.

"I'm... do not want to be much of a problem."

"Go to hell Ai’Pete! Why are you avoiding me!!!" Now I was yelling at him, charging at Pete in a burst with a yell that all my friends were afraid of, and it all made the Khun-chai try harder to avoid my gaze.

This time I cupped his cheeks in both hands, forcing his eyes to meet mine, and I saw that he was pale and still trying to shake his head to avoid my question.

"There really isn't anything ah Ai’Ae... "

"If you don't say so, I'll kiss you!"

What the hell kind of reason is that! I really shouldn't believe this Pond guy's crap.

I felt embarrassed again after I said it, I'm not one of those bossy CEOs in a TV show who threatens the heroine with a forced kiss, but I really couldn't help it. Are my words making Pete's pupils dilate, and is Pond's brainwashing revolution against me these days a success?

Okay!

With that said, I brought my face up to him and stared at his two soft orange-red lips with a very determined look, unable to resist the urge to touch them again. My hand also leaned his face towards mine, my more serious expression made the Khun-chai pale even more.




Time froze.

He shrugged his head very hard and stood up with his hand firmly on my lips, a move that left me overwhelmed.

“Ai’Ae, we shouldn't do this ah, you should have done this with a girl, not a gay like me!" looking at his expression, he seemed to be about to cry again. But I was so confused, I didn't know what he was really talking about. Last time he clearly let me kiss him and did it affectionately, how did it turn out this time?

"What do you mean... "

"Nong Chompoo, Ae, you should do this thing with Nong Chompoo, not me... "

"But she and I are nothing at all!"

"There's nothing between me and you... "

“Ai’Pete! I told you, I've got an 'over friendship' feeling about you!!!! Is that meaningless?"

I didn't mean to yell at him, but I was really super pissed! Was there any ambiguity in what I said the other day? I said I have feelings for you, and I'm pushing me towards that Chompoo for good reason. He was taken aback by my earlier rant, and I expected him to blush as he did that day, but to his surprise he burst into tears.

Pete cried...

This time it was real tears, not the wet-eyed kind, because he was wiping them with the back of his hand, like a little child.

“Ai’Ae... don't you say that... Oooh... you shouldn't have feelings for me... Oooh... shouldn't... it's just... we're too close... you should go like girls... not... gay... gay like me... Oooh... you should go to... that sister... not me... kiss her... not kiss me... not take care of her... not take care of me... not me... Oooh... "

I should have been more angry than before when he pushed me away to take care of someone else, but why was his expression so painful when he said that... should I just put him aside and leave him alone? I can't do it, I absolutely can't do it!

"You're in... a period of confusion... you haven't had time to correct... Oooh... don't ah... don't be like me... I... don't let anyone yell at you... Oooh... gay... "

Suddenly

"I really want to kill you, did you think it all through before you said those words!" I was the one who couldn't stand it, especially when I saw him crying pearly-eyed, and I immediately took him into my arms, and even though he tried his best to push me away, I bossily put his head on my shoulder and spoke to him in a very low tone.

"I know you've been talked about by people with tinted glasses before, causing you to be so scared until now, but I'm going to tell you that yes, I'm a normal straight guy and should like girls... " I could feel him getting uncomfortable and his body stiffened, clutching my shirt tightly, so I hurried down the line.

"... But if I'm going to like you, it's also because it's you, it has nothing to do with whether you are a boy or a girl. Honestly, if that feeling is that I like you, then I'm not gay, because I only feel that way about you, not about every guy!" I'm not sure he's catching my drift anymore.

OK, if I like him now, I just like him alone, not seeing every guy wanting a hug, wanting a kiss, wanting a face pinch, except to him.

"And the Chompoo side, I've already turned her down... "

“Ai’Ae... " Pete looked up at me, his face covered in tear tracks, and I sighed, shaking my head lightly while wiping his tears away with my hand.

"Well, I told her that I can't be her boyfriend because I'm not familiar with her at all, and all of a sudden she ran up to me and said she wants to be with me, I'm not going to... " I didn't give the whole situation out because Chompoo told me that she wouldn't give up easily. If it wasn't understood by now, she would have tried to get both parties to understand better, which is why this high school girl was circling me in the morning.

"Well, now that I've confessed to you, can you tell me with your eyes, why should you be avoiding me?" I changed the subject back again, but the handsome Khun-chai pursed his lips tightly again and looked down at his feet.

"I... envy her."

"Envy? What do you envy her for?" I'm really puzzled. What is it about that little girl that you should be jealous of? But after he raised his head to lock eyes with me, and then answered my question, I was speechless.

"I envy her for being able to profess her love to you directly, and I don't have the courage to say it... I like you... so much... it's suffocating to love you."

By this time Pete's face was full of tears, but his eyes, which still had a little lingering tear in them, locked eyes with me four times and stressed with me once more.

"I like you... what should I do... "




Pete.

I said it, and I said how I felt about Ae.

After I finished, Ae's expressionless look made me feel scared, and I didn't know what was going through his mind, so I lowered my head and closed my mouth tightly. I felt my hands trembling at that moment, trembling so much that even I felt terrible, and that line of defense in my heart was like a dam that broke the dike.

"I like you... I've liked you since the first time you saved me... you can treat me as someone who is easily moved... but... I like... you are... my hero... you show up in time to help me every time... it's you who gives me the courage to refuse, the courage to fight on my own, to stop being a coward who only knows how to run away, who only knows how to whine, to stop suffering alone... every time you are by my side... woohoo... I am so happy... so happy that I'm afraid I'm too happy... I miss you all the time... every minute, every second... "

Thinking of what I want to do...

I looked up at him, squeezing out a hint of a smile at him, even though my body was shaking a little. It could get dark at any moment, but Ae still stared at me with a rippled gaze. His dark pupils made me feel a hint of peace and ripples at the same time. Then, he moved a little closer to me.

Snap

“Ai’Ae... "

I called out to him cautiously. As his fingers gently wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, my little heart, which had been nowhere to be found, began to pound furiously. Every time he wiped my tears before, it was of the rough kind, without a hint of tenderness. But this time it was very different, he gently wiped my tears away and then his hand rested on my cheek.

I could feel his warmth every time he came close to me, and this time while I was silently feeling the warmth coming from his side, before I realized what was happening, his lips were already pressed to mine.

Our third kiss.

The touch left my mind blank, my body as if it had been punctured, my hands cold as frost, but my lips were pressing against Ae's and I felt them blazing hot to the point of burning.

At this moment I felt that his lips were pressing seamlessly against mine, and Ae pushed me closer to the tree. When the tip of his tongue tapped my lips, my nerves went out of control, and I immediately closed my eyes, feeling a third of my fear, a third of my excitement, and a third of my heart, not knowing what I should do.

Ae's tongue is soft, moist and moist, and its movements are so gentle and thoughtful, I felt like my whole body was going to melt away and fall straight to the ground. I felt like an ice cream, and he was slowly licking and feeling the taste of the ice cream with his heart, until it was finished. As his tongue tried to pry my lips into my mouth, I started shaking all over again.

"Open your mouth." He said softly around my mouth, but my mind was already blank, just doing what he told me to do and my mouth opened naturally. Then I felt his warm tongue easing in and touching my gums.

Time stood still.

I clung to the back of his shirt and at this moment I felt like I was on a roller coaster, no, more than a roller coaster. My stomach fluttered and my mind was a blur, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. My body just felt like it was going to melt to the floor and I honestly had no idea that kissing could produce such a rich experience for me.

"Mmmm... " as his active, flexible tongue was intertwining with my passive, sluggish one, it was as if I heard a moan of my own coming from afar. His tongue was touching me, tasting me, causing me to... brain to go white again.

I don't know how long the kiss lasted, I felt as if time had stood still. By the time Ae's mouth left mine, I realized my legs had gone limp and sat down on the floor in one fell swoop.

“Ai’Pete!" Ae held my arm just in time, but my legs were still shaking and I couldn't stand up at all, all I could do was cover my face with my hands, and my tongue still felt a little numb, curled together, causing myself to be unable to speak.

"I... I... just... I... "I really can't think of anything else.

I kept my head down and then felt a big warm hand on my head, stroking it gently. Then Ae sat down as well, sitting next to me, but his hand remained in the motion of stroking me. Only to hear the words mutter from his mouth.

"I just kissed you, but I'm not going to apologize to you because I really wanted to." I felt like I was going to explode in place. But Ae's next words made me want to immediately jump into Doraemon's pocket and disappear before his eyes.

"Your mouth is... very sweet... "

From that second on, I didn't dare to look him in the eye again.



By the time I regained consciousness again, it had been several minutes and Ae wasn't bothering me. By then it was dark and the army of mosquitoes had come to sneak up on us, but he stood quietly by my side until I regained consciousness. Then I took a deep breath.




“Ai’Ae... "

"What's wrong?"

"Don't you shut the gate entirely."

"What do you mean by that?" Now that I've regained my sanity and have enough sense to reorganize the language, I try my best to pose a smile at him, still a little timid at heart.

"It's the Chompoo side... I don't want you to go and reject her, I still want you to give yourself a chance to get to know her, and I still firmly believe that it's better for you to like girls than boys like me. Now that you are not settled, I hope you will give her a chance... don't rush in to a decision out of sympathy for me." I didn't want to keep bringing up things like this, but I really wanted to get it all out of the way, and Ae rubbed my head vigorously after hearing it.

"I'm not one to waver Ai’Pete... but this time you're not trying to push me on that sister are you?"

"Well... I hope you can give each other a chance... and me." I whispered to him.

"You mean until I figure out why I want to kiss you, why I want to hug you, why I want to pinch your face, I should treat Chompoo the same... " I wasn't sure if he was saying the opposite, but I nodded slowly anyway. He saw it and lifted his hand to hitch a ride on my shoulder.

"Hey! I doubt very much if you really like me!"

"Really! I just... "

"I know, you don't want me to be judged as much as you are, I understand... you're a good person with a good heart... you know, the way you want me to switch to liking girls makes me like you several times more... “Ai’Ae turned her head and smiled at me, giving me a big hug and her eyes went to the school road ahead.

"I will listen to you and give myself a chance until I have a better understanding of how I feel... even if I think it's a little late." I didn't dare look him in the eye until he stood up and held out his hand to me.

"Come on, I'm hungry, let's eat together." Now Ae smiled at me, his smoky smile tugging at my heartstrings. I thought for a moment, then put my hand on his palm, then felt another surge of force pull me up, and the two of us headed for the cafeteria, holding hands.

"No more hiding from me."

"No hiding... got it." My voice echoed in my throat.

And then, the goodwill of the two of us at dinner came back, and Ae didn't say a word about Chompoo, but he told me what had happened in the last few days, about Pond, about studying, and we talked like we hadn't seen each other in six months. When we were done talking, Ae pulled me again to the pavilion where the other academies were performing earlier.

"Just in time." Now it was the turn of the Academy who sang the best, and I don't know how Ae was able to take me through the crowd and squeeze me to the front.

When the prelude to the University song rang out at the venue, my sweat hairs stood up. Even though there were so many people standing around me, as long as my hand still touched that big warm hand, I knew it was Ae's hand and he was there for me.

Ae didn't look back at me, he looked forward with concentration, but his hand... was making another exchange with my fingers, closely linked.

The crowds swarmed, eyes not intertwined with each other, but who knew that our hands had been joined together and fused into one.

Silent action is sometimes sweeter than a thousand words.






~~ My Accidental Love is You ~~



Prev: Chapter 13: The "Shocking" of the Rival Enemy 《Chapters Home》Next: Chapter 15: We have to learn