Winter Begonia, Chapter 14: Shang Xirui’s side of the story

Winter Begonia 《鬓边不是海棠红》Bin Bian Bu Shi Hai Tang Hong
Winter Begonia, Chapter 14: Shang Xirui’s side of the story

Cheng Fengtai doesn't dare tell his wife that he's going to talk to Shang because he thinks it's a bit reckless and stupid. He and Shang Xirui are just joking around, but not to the extent of discussing personal matters. But since he's such a talkative person, when he has a lecture to give, he has to announce it right away, and so on.


Cheng Fengtai arrived at the Qingfeng Grand Theatre early and knocked on the door to find Shang Xirui. He was half made up and has only one eyebrow painted, but when he sees it's Cheng Fengtai, he knows it's revenge.

"Master Cheng, what's the matter?"“

Cheng Fengtai wanted to laugh at the sight of his half eyebrows, and said, "How dare you open the door like this. I have to talk to you."

"But I still have a show...”

Cheng Fengtai entered uninvited, took off his hat and scarf, sat down on a nearby sofa, lit a cigarette, and pointed the cigarette butt at him. “Then go sing. I'll wait as long as it takes.”

Smoking is always prohibited backstage, but no one dares to ask Cheng Fengtai to put out his cigarette. Shang Xirui returned to his seat without saying a word, but the weather was not right today, as both parties were depressed and could not act as usual. That's the way it is. Cheng Fengtai looked around, the dressing rooms of the opera troupe were always bright and crowded and colorful, Shang Xirui ruled loosely, and backstage, he was always in the middle of the stage. It's especially crowded and chaotic, with clothes hanging in rows, and the colorful dishes on the kitchen table. It was chaos, and even more chaos with that around. As soon as Fengtai entered, the ladies' eyes flew over, as seductive and flirtatious as the dancers. Some of them know that this is the lustful, money-grubbing, get-to-climb-on-his-bed-money-come-free-and –its-all-day-happy-day Master Cheng. Some of them don't know Cheng Fengtai, but from their experience, they can tell who he is by the way he dresses. An official can't be so disrespectful as to go into an opera performer's dressing room, so he must be from a family or a merchant's shop. He's handsome, but he's also good-looking.

A female actress in full costume, with her white midriff uncovered, posing in front of Cheng Fengtai, can't bear to show her thighs. Cheng Fengtai's smiling eyes followed her for a while, wondering if this was the Shuiyun Pavilion or the Baihua Brothel, and why he was followed like in the brothel.

Shang Xirui, ignorant of all the fads under his nose, is seriously raising his eyebrows in the mirror. The little girl with big pigtails, fearing that the ashes would be blown by the wind onto his costume, came over with a wooden face and put down a porcelain bowl for Cheng Fengtai to mix water powder ashtrays. When Cheng Fengtai smiled at her, she still had a wooden face.

Cheng Fengtai said: "Please pour me another cup of hot tea.”




Xiao Lai pretended not to hear, turned around and walked away.

Shang Xirui's play ended at 9:30. In the meantime, Cheng Fengtai smoked half a pack of cigarettes and rehearsed his lecture in secret, finding it thought-provoking and the world should say it is full of humanity, and it is going to make this little opera actor weep and regret it.

Shang Xirui probably didn't change tonight, but the applause outside was long and loud, and Shang Xirui thanked the audience for 20 minutes before he had to leave the stage.

He was kidnapped by Cao Siling yesterday, but he was in a foul mood and refused to sleep with him. Cao Siling didn't want to use too much force, so he kicked him out of the room with a slap on the ass. Shang Xirui's face was burning, and he's curled up on the sofa downstairs in his clothes, his heart in turmoil. The maids at the Commander's house were furious at the Commander's anger, and because of Cheng Meixin's lustful authority, they didn't dare to give Shang Xirui firewood for the fireplace, nor did they dare to give him a blanket to cover him up, and left him to die with the night cold. When the fireplace went out in the middle of the night, the living room was even colder than outside. Shang Xirui was shivering on a couch cushion, but with all the old stories about Pingyang, Cao Siling's grievances were nothing. When he was trying to sleep, he suffered like this all night, and only in the morning did he feel sleepy. Shang Xirui cowered there like a little cat, proud of himself, with a long, sharp laugh. Shang Xirui did not wait for him to laugh at him, and then he got up and left, walking for three hours before walking home. And then he slept for a little while, and then he performed day and night until now.

In the night scene, he had to pretend to be Mu Guiying, but he sweated profusely and was too tired to move. He leaned back in his chair backstage, and Xiao Lai brought him a cup of tea to put on the dressing table, which Cheng Fengtai snatched up and drank, After drinking, he leaned against the mirror, looking at Shang Xirui with half-lidded eyes on one side, swallowing clouds on the other, and knocked all the ashes into the teacup.

That's a bad attitude, a rascal. Shang Xirui always thought he was an aristocratic hooligan, uncool and unethical. He usually hangs out in prosperous areas, so the fact he's more aristocratic; today, it means he's looking for trouble, so he's more punky.

Xiao Lai glared furiously at Cheng Fengtai. Shang Xirui, exhausted to the point of tears, took a few breaths, and said: "Pour another cup of tea - for Master Cheng. Then help me remove my make-up, and don't keep the Master waiting. Agh...”

Cheng Fengtai watches as Shang Xirui gradually washed away the lead, transforming himself from a colorful actress into a simple child with a pretty face. There was a kind of cleanliness and truthfulness about him. The only thing is that there are black circles under the eyes, and the cheeks are puffy and lacking in energy. It's a face that Cheng Fengtai has seen a lot in front of a mirror, obviously after enjoying the night life.

Cheng Fengtai thought he was good for ruining my son's birthday party and making the couple cry, then when he f.ucking finished making a mess! He went and got comfortable with a man. What a b.itch!

Shang Xirui wiped the water from his face, put on his coat, and said to Cheng Fengtai, "All right. Second Master. Let's go."

Xiao Lai took two steps after him, eyes full of worry. Shang Xirui patted her on the shoulder, smiled at her and said: "When you're ready, take the bus home, don’t wait for me at the door, I'll be back later.”

Xiao Lai nodded.

After getting into the car and sitting down, Cheng Fengtai said, "Let's go to Xiang Hill."

Going to the mountain at this time of the day, normal people would be stunned. But the driver, Mr. Ge, is an old family member brought by Cheng Fengtai from Shanghai, so he's used to his second son's strange personality, and Xiang Hill is quite close. Now he won't be surprised if they let him go for a walk in Baoding.

Lao Ge straightened the brim of his cap, and calmly started the car. But Shang Xirui's heart was thumping, wondering if because of last night's entry, Cheng Meixin couldn't tolerate him, so she sent his younger brother to the house to stop the problem forever? Come to think of it, it's impossible. Cheng Fengtai's status is such that he wouldn't kill someone himself. But if it's about the full-moon banquet, why would he come here in the middle of the night? It's too much. Or is it something else? No! There's nothing but jokes between him and Cheng Fengtai.




Actually, Cheng Fengtai just wanted to find a remote place to talk, for fear of Shang Xirui going crazy if he started a fight in the city and in the middle of the night, beating and yelling is not going to be a good look.

The car drove for more than an hour in the cold night, and at the foot of Xiang Hill, Cheng Fengtai asked Lao Ge to follow with his headlights on. Shang Xirui stood within the range of the headlights and walked slowly to talk. In the darkness of the night, the weeds were barren on all sides, two beams of snow-white headlights shone down on them, and in front of them lay an endless stretch of road. The road, the situation is quite strange. Shang Xirui is not afraid, but rather curious and waits with bated breath for Cheng Fengtai to say something.

Cheng Fengtai said: "What I'm about to say is a little bit deeper than that. But I hope you'll listen to it.”

Shang Xirui was used to Cheng Fengtai's joking look, but now that she was serious, it was quite funny.” It's a word from the play."

Cheng Fengtai then began to speak...

Cheng Fengtai's long speech, in the end, boils down to these points. Firstly, let bygones be bygones, it's a man's job to forget the past and do harm to himself and others. A man's eyes must look forward. What good will he do if he's always looking at his misery? Secondly, I hope Mr. Shang will remember the past. In the past Miss Mengping has taken good care of you like you were his younger brother, but now that she's a woman, she's living happily, so let's break up. It's irrelevant to be angry. If he steps on them at the first opportunity, it's immoral and ungrateful.

The third is to persuade him to put himself in his place. Mengping is his older sister, not to mention if it was his own blood sister, but even if she's his first cousin, there are many people who grow up and go their separate ways for the one they love. Mengping had affection for him and love for Chang Zhixin, how can they be compared? As a younger brother, he has no position to comment on his sister's marriage, and by doing so he's overstepping his bounds.

Shang Xirui listened in silence, the smile on his face faded, his head hung halfway down, his hair blocking his eyes and brows. Cheng Fengtai thinks he can't take it anymore, but he has to, because this is something that has been going on for years. Give him a head butt, scold him for waking up. But Shang Xirui didn't respond at all, not as if he was about to wake up or was shocked. When Cheng Fengtai's temperament comes up, what he says next is a bit unpleasant, a bit scolding, and on the one hand, he feels like he's being a bit of a jerk for saying it. He was waiting for Shang Xirui to go crazy like the rumors said. Even if he doesn't wake up, if he goes crazy, he'll be thrown back to the city and we'll never see each other again. Justice has been done, and a friendship has been relieved.

Cheng Fengtai added three-quarters of an hour, until he ran out of words to speak. The night in Xiang Hill was so cold that it froze before it snowed. Cheng Fengtai put his hands in his coat pockets and cowered, but he was not satisfied with Shang Xirui's attitude, so he followed up with a few criticisms. As the completion of a plan was published, improvisation had finished, chatter of people also got done, Shang Xirui still had his head down, his slowly rubbed my chin against the scarf, like I was thinking about something.

Cheng Fengtai angrily said: "You! Talk!”

Shang Xirui raised his head and said softly, wearily, "No. Second Master, it's not like that.”

"Huh?”

"That woman was originally in love with my brother, but she dumped him in the middle of the road to be with that Fishy guy. Chang Zhixin had a wife at the time, but he treated her like someone who was not his wife, she was his own. If he could leave his wife for her, he could leave her for someone else... A young master of a wealthy family is a wicked man, not a good man.”

Cheng Fengtai figures out that the woman is Jiang Mengping, the Young master who is also known as Chang Zhixin. This little opera actor is so childish, he won't even give him a name if he hates him, just a nickname. But Cheng Fengtai didn't like the last line, "A rich young master is a wicked man, who are you referring to in this line?"

"They've kept me in the dark, and I'm so angry, and I can't say a word to her, I've always been soft with her. Yes... But she got tired of hearing me say that she would be treated as if she was nothing, and she said that it was none of my business what she wanted to do with her life, that I deserved my grief.”

Cheng Fengtai stopped to look at him, this felt like something which doesn't sound like something that would come out of Jiang Mengping's mouth. Shang Xirui was still talking.

"How could I be nothing? For her, I'd die for her! Why fight with her? Because that woman made me a promise. She said I'd always be the most important person to her that no one could compare to me in her heart, that our flesh and blood would never be separated. But soon after she said that, she went to make up with Fishy guy. She said she was just kidding! After ten years of being together, she couldn't make it work for three months with Fishy! Why did she promise me something she couldn't fulfill? She lied to me... I've been fooled like a fool...”

Cheng Fengtai walked behind him, looking at his back, shaken by the phrase "I'd die for her". Cheng Fengtai has three sisters and three children, all of whom are close and beloved, even to his beloved Cha Chaér. Even Cheng Fengtai didn't dare to say that he would die for her. After a long silence, he felt that he had come to know Shang Xirui very well. Shang Xirui's understanding of human emotions and ethics is empty, never passed, never understood. He only knows how to look after his own heart. When he gives his whole heart to someone it is naked and baked, if he doesn't hold it, if it is broken, he will go crazy.

Cheng Fengtai said: "She promised you a good thing. But the promise itself is against the world, against human decency. How can you unreasonably force her to fulfill it? How can you force her to honor it?"




"What's unreasonable about it? Why should our relationship have to give way to a crooked man-woman relationship? She and I are soulmates! That's what's most precious!”

Cheng Fengtai really laughed out loud. A silly young man like Shang Xirui can be a brother or a son to anyone, or a confidant to anyone, but there's nothing inappropriate about it, it’s the whole thing that's inappropriate. Jiang Mengping looked like a sentimental, flirtatious, delicate woman, and Shang Xirui is just a goofball, How can you be sensitive to his sensitive emotions...

Cheng Fengtai said: "Fine, let's say confidant is more important than love. But now it seems that you consider her your confidante and she doesn't consider you her confidante, she thinks Chang Zhixin’s new confidante is better. That's not his fault, it's you who didn't win!"“

Shang Xirui stubbornly said: "Then she shouldn't have promised me. She promised me, but she didn't do it, so no! I'll make a scene! I'm going to make a scene!"

Cheng Fengtai really can't argue with him anymore. You can't ask a gangster to bully Jiang Mengping. You are brother and sister, you... You're just..."

Shang Xirui said, under his breath, "I'm just trying to scare her, not really do anything to her. Hit her, a little scare won't cost her a thing...”

The tone of his words was so childish that Cheng Fengtai couldn't help but laugh, but still scolded: "Use this method to scare a woman's? And, is it a bluff to send soldiers to trash her theater stall? It's a dead end.”

Shang Xirui looked back at Cheng Fengtai, eyes widening in surprise: "What's with sending soldiers to smash up the stalls? I don't have any soldiers.” He paused, thought about it, and understood.

Back then, he was heartbroken when Jiang Mengping said he deserved it, that he couldn't stay in Pingyang for a moment and left Shuiyun Pavilion. He ran out of the city at night. Unexpectedly, he ran into Zhang's army on the road. Marshal Zhang was a friend of Shang Xirui’s, and was once obsessed with him, but he hated the fact that he could not get close to him. When he met again, he was so impressed that he lifted Shang Xirui onto his horse and laughed, "I am on my way to Pingyang, don't worry. Come with me, and no one will dare bully you again!”

Marshal Zhang is Marshal Zhang, the best way to stop people from bullying is to bully them first. In order to please Shang Xirui, he must have sent his troops to take care of Jiang Meng Ping - it was easy enough to force her out! Cheng Fengtai said to himself, "No wonder Chang Zhixin said that all the theatres and opera houses wouldn't hire Jiang Mengping for a while. It's also because of the pressure from Marshal Zhang.”

"She deserved it even if he sent troops to ruin the place! She said she didn't want to be an opera singer anymore, so she gave it to me. What happened? She brought a man with her to hang out backstage! "Shang Xirui resented, "And said she'd never let me see her again. Hmph! On the street where she sings, I pass her several times a day, and I see her every time. She never keeps her word to stay out of the opera world! She's always lying to me!”

Cheng Fengtai thought to himself, if someone was so strict about me fulfilling these unrealistic promises, I would have to die to show him the meaning of fulfill-your-promise!

Tonight, Cheng Fengtai completely understands what Shang Xirui means by being hateful and pitiful. He hates him for his paranoia, cruelty and unrealism, but at the same time, he deeply pities him for his idiocy.

In Cheng Fengtai's heart, there's still more pity than hate.

Shang Xirui's thin figure is standing in the cold winter night, so thin and wavering after what he just said. Cheng Fengtai felt pity for him and said, "If this were a girl, I'd go and hug her."

But Shang Xirui, with his looks and temperament, and his vague gender identity, is still a teenager, if not a girl, It was pitiful. So Cheng Fengtai went up to him, gripped his shoulders, and Shang Xirui naturally leaned into his arms. Cheng Fengtai noticed that his body was trembling slightly, whether from cold or excitement. He pressed his cheek against Cheng Fengtai's shoulder and said: "Second Master, would you please stop? Just hearing their names makes me... I feel sick inside... Just hearing their names... makes me sad."

Cheng Fengtai said: "Fine. No more, no more, I'll take you home.”

No words were spoken on the way back, Shang Xirui turned his head to look out of the window into the dark night, his two hands clasped in his lap, as if his heart was still full of sorrow. Cheng Fengtai couldn't bear himself, secretly blamed his own recklessness, found a word to say next to him and said: " Where does Boss Shang live?" At the moment, he is still cautious about Shang Xirui, so he doesn't dare to gossip too much.

Shang turned around and said, "Number 31, Luogu Lane. It's north past the Huangwa Temple of Wealth.”

Cheng Fengtai chuckled: "What a coincidence! I live just south of the street. So we're still neighbors.”

Shang Xirui wanted to respond to him, but because he was in a bad mood, she couldn't get into a conversation with him. When they arrived at Shang Xirui's house, a small courtyard house on Luogu Lane, the car stopped and Cheng Fengtai said: "I can't talk very well. Listen, I'm sorry. I thought you'd be mad at me.”

Shang Xirui shook his head and smiled faintly: "Second Master, you're too kind. You are kind. I never lose my temper with people who are not involved.”

It's as if Cheng Fengtai's words are not good enough to make him angry. Upon hearing this, Cheng Fengtai suddenly felt uncomfortable. Fortunately, Shang Xirui added, "I messed up the Third Young master's full-moon banquet, and I owe the Second Master an opera. I owe it to you."

Cheng Fengtai said, "That's not a problem.” He wouldn't dare invite Shang Xirui to sing again.

Shang Xirui insisted, "No. It must be repaid.”

Cheng Fengtai smiled at him: "Good. I'll wait for you then.”




Shang Xirui got out of the car, knocked a few times on the door to call Xiao Lai. Cheng Fengtai had deliberately parked his car with its headlights on, but Shang obviously didn't need them, and as soon as the door parted a little, he ducked in with great agility. He didn't look back once. He doesn't know why, but it made Cheng Fengtai feel slightly lost. The branches of the acacia trees in the yard next door were reflected by the headlights, like a spider's web that catches the night, cold and dense.


~ Winter Begonia ~


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