THE
EFFECT: THE SERIES
The
Effect The Series Chapter
7: The dark, gloomy corner we call "Safe Space"
I
returned to the room with my weary, tired body and at times like this it is
unbelievable that the person I would miss the most were my parents. I took my
tired body into the bedroom, grabbed my small backpack in my room, stuffed the
reports and books I needed in my bag and decided to go home.
"Father,
mother ... Hello."
I
returned home at 8 a.m. Both the parents were still watching the dramas on the
TV. Once I entered the house, I put my backpack on the floor and enter into the
middle of the seat between the two of them.
"Oh
Lord. You came back home and it’s not a holiday. Do you have projects to write
down on the notebook?”
"Not
that much"
"Have
you eaten yet?"
"Not
yet, mother."
"What's
going on? Your face didn't look good.”
"Then
mother will go to prepare food and I will leave for you son to talk to your
father first.”
I
don't know how much my face was showing. But especially saw the concern and
attention on both of them, I was even more courageous to leave the stressful
issue back there and to stay at home where I was happy. I have never returned anywhere without the happiness from here. I think I'm worried that it should be better for me
than anyone suffering with me.
"Nothing,
Father. I'm just tired.”
"If
it's studying don't let it become stressful, it you should take a lot of
rest."
"Yes"
The
craving for food appeared as soon as I saw mom's omelets and minced pork.
Previously, I would be in my own room and thought about this whole thing,
although I hadn't eaten yet, I wouldn't feel hunger. But now I feel that one
dish of rice in front of me may not be enough for my needs
After
finishing cleanup, I then spent some time relaxing downstairs watching movies
with them. And after the drama came the news and after the news ended, the
three of us then gradually separated into our rooms I took a bath to clear my
head. Because today I wasted a lot of time on other things without touching the
final report before the final exam.
I
spread the Japanese table out in the middle and sat down to put it on the
floor, thinking that I was going to write a report, but it turned out that I was
still circling the phone to read that post repeatedly. And then thought back
and forth with the same story until finally letting time pass by uselessly by
just looking at the pile of books in front
After
sitting and looking at the report topic for a long time, I was thinking that
the reason why I got the report because it was so difficult. Is it because the professor knew about all this? So he wanted to teach me to focus more on studying, rather
than having time to think about stories like that?
I
think back to the faces of all my classmates stating at me. The eyes that
smiled at me when greeted were and thinking about how many people would be
sincere, not mocking or having any disgusting thoughts.
And
Pramote, does he really understand me like he said? Or he might be like the
person at the club who in my face, he acted like he accepted me as a friend but
in truth he never gave that assurance word.
The
more I think, but I feel like I'm at the dead end and I cannot figure out how
to behave with other people, how can I bring this story to talk about it with
my parents, I have no courage. While I was stuck in my thoughts the ringing of
my phone rang me out of my own crossfire.
"Hello
P'Keng. I was worried when I couldn't contact P'.”
"Sorry,
P' was a little busy."
"Was
the business the subject of P's release from the university's presenter
job?"
"Where
are you Shin? P' came to wait in front of the dormitory downstairs.”
"I'm
at home"
"Then,
P', can come there ... Please?"
Looking
at this time, it is already very late. Although I want to know the story from
P'Keng's mouth about what happened, but if he has to drive this time of night,
it may be dangerous to P'Keng.
"Don't
come. The people at home have all gone to sleep."
"Is
that so?" P'Keng's voice seemed so frustrated making me also worried that
P'Keng was thinking that I didn't want to see him. From the thought of him
waiting to go back to the dormitory and talk to each other, then became
"Tomorrow
morning, you can come."
"OK"
..................................................
...............
I
shared the location with P'Keng by phone before placing a call. P'Keng arrived
at my house at 7 o'clock in the morning. I walked out to open the door for my
parents to go to work. Then I saw a P'Keng car driving straight into the alley
of the house.
Just
at the first moment I saw P'Keng's face, I knew that P'Keng would probably be
affected by this issue as well as me. I looked at P'Keng's face with guilt. If
he didn't have me in his life, he probably won't have a psychopathic guy who
likes to shoot other people's clips. From a good student ativity guys.
"P'
... I'm sorry"
It's
the only word I can tell P'Keng. An apology from me is an apology for coming to
know him and causing him to be chaotic. If I knew since the first day that I
will cause him to be badgered with the news, I would have withdraw from. Today,
I and P'Keng would not have to encounter anything like this.
"P'
must apologize to you as well. It seems people have been pestering you in your
quiet life."
"Yesterday,
someone told me about the presenter issue is it true, P'?”
"It's
just an inquiry. It's normal that when a lot of bad news comes out. P' must be
called to talk about it. But just talking and considering that P' has not been
released from the university presenter as they had said.”
"But
P's picture is gone."
"It
must first be removed and then if investigated and unfounded, everything will
return as before.”
"Really
P'"
"Really,
why would P' lie Shin?"
P'Keng
decided to tell me all the things that occurred while talking to the professors
when I heard that I was still worried. In summary, various news reached the
university board of professors' ears as I was worried, but P'Keng has already
explained himself that he has never done any such damage fortunately, the board
still listened to P'Keng.
"And
then, P'Keng, what will you do next?"
"Before
coming out the professor meeting they advised me to inform the police so they
can treat this like a computer cyber bullying crime.”
"So
what does P' think?"
"I
want to go and report it because the incident happened is quite chaotic for me
and Shin. Until now it became a massive story if asked if it was worth the time
to report. I think it is worth it, but I don't know how much progress will be
made after the crime report. Will those people really stop? Also, this law and
defamation law are unclear. I'm confused and uncertain. I have not studied this
field”
"I
agree with professor, P'."
"If
P' will take matters into account, you would have to tell the university to
consult it. Now the story will become even bigger. This will bring you headache.
If parents know about it, I might have to explain, maybe that will take a long time to them
than to explain to the police and at your house, not even..."
"P'Keng"
"What
did you say? Sorry, P' is starting to complain too much, right?”
"Anyway,
P' always has me."
I
reach out to hold P'Keng's hand. Because I want P'Keng to know that no matter
what other people say about him or whether P'Keng has to hit anything, I will
always be here. I will always be the junior to him.
"Although
... I may be like that kind of person as they said."
"Um
.... Just P' is good for me. I will always be by your side and P' always has
me.”
"Thank
you"
P'Keng
grabbed me into the hug. The shock that was drawn in and I was held tightly and
it made me tense. In the past, although P'Keng played or showed intimacy, there
was never a time to embrace.
But
once I thought that P'Keng might have encountered a lot of pressure from a
meeting with the faculty I then threw away my fear and then lifted my hand and
hugged P'Keng back with it slowly. I slapped P'Keng's back and said I was here
for him.
..................................................
...................
"Thank
you Shin very much for agreeing to sit with P' here. When P' doesn't have
benefits, all the friends have shied away from P'."
Because
I know very well what I am doing, I do not want to change. I still met with
P'Keng as before and we would walk to the club together. P'Keng still supports
and does everything. Even if P'Keng was reduced from the club administrator to
just club member.
I
also spent some time thinking before returning to the club again. Of course,
I'm pretty sure that the latest pictures were released by the people who went
to the camp together with us that day, so I didn't want to go in. But if P'Keng
was reduced to a club member and I didn't join the club at all, everyone might
think that they correctly thought that I entered the club because of P'Keng and
I want them to know that I joined this club because I really like photography.
"I
told P' that I wouldn't go anywhere, so here I am."
I
acted as a strong needle and didn't care about anyone's eyes when people looked
when P'Keng and I walked together in university. But in reality, I come back to
cry every day in my own room, just only to see those eyes
During
this life on campus, I got Pramote as a refuge. Even though Pramote is a nerd,
but to me Pramote is a best friend.
Pramote
stuck with me when everyone said that I was dumped by P'Keng and had to rely on
Mote as my back up lover... But despite being harshly spoken about, Pramote
never let me walk around alone and was always by my side, until I felt guilty
in my suspicion that Pramote would be the same as everyone else.
I
feel like I was an enemy of my own life, because regardless of how close I am to
that person, it must always cause negative news. I used to think so much, or I
should just break up with them.
The
more I know, the more I can't accept. I began to be even more introverted and
didn't want to go to school, but got Pramote to drag me out every time. For a
loner person, I was even more introverted.
Sat
behind the wall next to the room because I didn't want anyone to be interested
in me
"Khun
is awesome with a hero riding a white horse to protect him as well”
"We
support getting rid of all those words.”
"Good,
report the matter. We want to know if everyone can be caught it out.”
I
don't know if he really wants to encourage me or want to fight me. But, of
course, knowing that not trying to be the focus of anyone's attention didn't seem
to work after the friends of the P'Keng Group shared P'Keng's status on
Facebook's page at the same time. One with that status, P'Keng posted that
"If
the story doesn't stop once I will take legal action. Not wanting to make a big
deal, but it affects many parties. Please stop talking about things that are
not true.”
Instead,
everyone said they understand why P'Keng has to talk about prosecution. Instead,
everyone understands that it's a big deal beyond just having fun. But it turns
out that not everyone looks in that corner everyone thinks that both of us will
make small matters a big deal and we tried to act as a powerful force while
it’s just the two of us wanting to protect our rights. Why does it become like
this?
"Where
are you hurrying to go? Don't want to eat first?”
Pramote
may have forced me to study, but after school, Pramote is unable to hold me back
from my dark mood. I often go back to my room without stopping anywhere.
I
know that Pramote doesn't want me to be alone. But I'm not ready to sit and
talk with the eyes and worry about what others will really think when they look
at.
"No,
I want to go back to the room."
"But
then you must return to the club anyway"
"Please
come out when P'Keng finish school. I can go straight out of the
dormitory."
"Will
you ever dodge everyone like this forever?"
"Do
not say that I do not want to fight this, I want to fight!! I don't know what
to do!!! No one says it and not speaking became the accepted norm. Weren't you the one who said that if I were quiet it will be quiet?”
"Shin
... I just want you to be strong through it."
"I
give up. Pramote ... I give up ... I can't continue to do this ... I
won't."
I
knelt down and held my hand with my knees bent down to my knees, leaving my
weakness on the side of the building, using the wall behind me to lean my body.
I can't endure this kind of false rumors anymore. The pressure is more than I
can handle anymore.
"If
you think that the other way you think is better than what you can do then you
should do it because you are confident.”
TBC
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