HIStory3: Make Our Days Count, Chapter 10: The Real Meaning if That Day

HIStory3: Make Our Days Count《HIstory 3: 那一天》History 3: That Day
HIStory3: Make Our Days Count, Chapter 10: The Real Meaning if That Day

Xiang Hao Ting was in the living room and focused on handling things on his mobile phone. His eyes behind the glasses looked sharp and smart. Mother Xiang was busy in the kitchen. After seeing him put down his mobile phone, she asked if he has gotten in touch with the professor.

“Yeah, almost done." He replied briefly.

“When can I book a flight?”  

“Mid July.”  

“So fast!"

Xiang Hao Ting said that it would be ideal to go there early so as to be able adapt to the environment earlier. After all, he is not familiar with the place where he is going to live abroad. There are a lot of interpersonal relationships and geographical environment that need to be explored. It is better to arrive earlier than to take the right time to get used to the environment.

Xiang Hao Ting just smiled and listened to her, and answered a few sentences from time to time. Compared with the previous Xiang Hao Ting few years, he is now more stable, mature, but also more silent, many emotions are no longer explicit expressed, but stuck hidden in the heart.

“I hate you going..." Mother Xiang said perceptually.

It's a happy thing for a child to go to graduate school abroad when he is old and promising, but a mother wish still hopes that the child can be somewhere she can see.

Xiang Hao Ting didn't speak. In the bottom of his heart, he was reluctant to leave his family, but... To leave a place where there is no deep connection is not as difficult as he imagined, at least for him... it was not enough to make him cry.

He hasn't cried for many years. It's been six years.

Because going abroad is about to happen, he has to dispose of many things. What can be used has to be given away so it can't be wasted. When the room was empty, it can be used for other purposes.

He has made a list of mountaineering supplies, so wasn't worried. Today, his younger brother and sisters at the uni asked if he could give them the reference books and notes he used. They are not available for sale, so he said generously that he could, but they had to wait for him to sort out the list.

He went back to the room and found a book in the storage drawer full of books. However, he saw a biscuit box under one of the books. He was stunned for a moment.

He hasn't seen the box for many years. After that happened, he put all his thoughts and memories into this box and chose to paralyze himself in a way that he didn't want to see or remember. It didn't work as expected. Instead, he cried all day long. Instead, it was the cruellest time for him. The frequency of his crying became more and more eased. This box became a Pandora's Box that should not be opened

No, Pandora box is more kind, at least there was hope in it, but there is no hope in this box.

Mother Xiang came in from the outside and saw her son's tears flowing as he was staring at the box. She also felt a sour nose. Of course, she understood the meaning of the box to Xiang Hao Ting.

In recent years, in addition to the more emotional and darkest period, her baby son is just like someone trying to use his busy life to forget the pain and forget a person. He goes all out to study and work. He refuses to leave any spare time for himself and others to watch his heart

It’s painful, but there is nothing she can do.

What can we do? Accidents are called accidents because they are unpredictable.

As soon as Sun Bo Xiang went home, he felt that Lu Zhi Gang didn't seem to be in a happy mood.

He is not the impetuous young man he was six years ago. He is more mature than before after his childishness has faded. He just smiled and hangs his coat with patience before asking him what happened.

“Do you have anything to tell me?" Lu Zhi Gang asked without waiting for a reply.

"Ah? What?" Sun Bo Xiang was not pretending to be stupid, but really has no idea. He didn't react until he found a familiar gift box on the chair, although it was expected.

“It's sent back again? I mean your father's birthday. It should be at least opened!" Sun Bo Xiang's idea is very simple, he thought if they are polite enough to convey their wishes. They don’t care what the other part of the family wants to dispose of them. They can also send the gifts back. If they don't do...well, they can send them what they like. Only when they have a chance can they do to ease the relations.

When Lu Zhi Gang saw that he was still smiling, he was even angrier. “Didn't you say no more? Don't forget that every year when we go to deliver gifts, we are kicked out!"

“But I think it's getting better every year!" Sun Bo Xiang was optimistic. After the first year of gift giving, anyone who is threatened to chop people with a kitchen knife will become very optimistic if the threats become less and less each time. After all, it can't be worse.

This year, at least, they stepped into their home - although they were immediately kicked out, which made everyone extremely embarrassed.

“But I think this year's embarrassment is different from last year's embarrassment at some levels."

“It's not better!" Lu Zhi Gang didn't believe there was any difference. It's OK that he was kicked out, but he couldn't stand that Sun Bo Xiang was treated like this. He wanted to go back one day, but now he doesn't have such a strong desire. On the contrary, Sun Bo Xiang is more and more like himself in those days. His enthusiasm is very radical about going back to the Lu Family house.

Sun Bo Xiang added that he thought Lu Zhi Gang's father had given them a smile this year, which was much better than the previous years

Now. But he was scolded back by his lover, saying that he was falling into his own design illusion.

"Maybe." Sun Bo Xiang laughed and coaxed his lovers, “But this is also my motivation. Only when I have a chance can I say that I have a chance!"

Lu Zhi Gang knew that he would be so stubborn and thought for him, but his heartache couldn't be avoided, but he could only go back to the kitchen platform to cut vegetables in silence. When his lover's flattering score praised him for his good cooking and knife making, he can't help humming and says that he can only eat one bowl of rice today. "Ka, Ka... The voice of cutting vegetables can be heard all the time. Sun Bo Xiang, who has been exhausted all day by the design drawings and customers, quietly leaned on him, replenishes the energy of love from his lover, and smiling happily at the same time. There is nothing happier than to go back to a warm home and rest. For him, this is the best moment every day.

On this day, Xiang Hao Ting asked the student who would take the climbing equipment first to meet in the coffee shop.

He stood outside and looked in through the glass window. The face aroused his emotions just like when he saw it for the first time, but it became his unilateral spiritual sustenance in recent years

He thought that God really liked to joke with him, otherwise how could he give him a brother who looked exactly the same as Yu Xi Gu and had the opposite personality?

"You're late again!" the student couldn't help but scold him with a smiling face.

“I'm sorry." Xiang Hao Ting said with a wry smile.

The student was straightforward. He ordered a table for him as early as possible. He also introduced to him what foods are delicious. He is a very happy boy living in his own world. Xiang Hao Ting was very silent, but he just kept staring at his face. When he hits the other person, he felt a little uneasy. He often asks if he has something on his face.

"No." Xiang Hao Ting shook his head.

Later, a list full of climbing equipment was handed over to the student. Xiang Hao Ting didn't say anything, but the student was amazed.

“Wow, you are so crazy with your equipment, senior student!" he said straight that he would not choose any of them. All of them are needed! It's frightening expensive to buy these equipment outside. Now he is giving them for free. Who else will choose and not take the lot. He shouted to make money, but that smile is very sad in Xiang Hao Ting's eyes.

Another person with this face won't and won't have the chance to smile like this again.

In the past four years, he looked at this younger brother's face, which had nothing to do with silence and melancholy, but thought of another person. In fact, it's a bit confusing for him to meet him here today, because he turned out the box, and his deep memory resurface, which disturbed his emotion. He was not sure that he could still look at the face calmly.

But, to his surprise, he did not lose his temper.

Maybe it's the relationship that has really accepted the facts. He clearly knew that the person in front of him is not called "Yu Xi Gu", so when he spits out those words, the other side is a little dazed.

“Bye bye. I wanted to say goodbye to you this time." This time, he wanted to say goodbye to Yu Xi Gu.

Holding the sadness and pain that only he could understand, Xiang Hao Ting threw down a bill, picked up his bag and left.

The sister who was going shopping together outside the shop saw the pain in his eyes, but she didn't ask questions. She just accompanied her brother to choose gifts for the woman who helped him applied for the graduate school and arranged the residence for him.

Over the years, there have been many topics that she dare not talk about, or can't talk about, because she doesn't want her dear brother to get hurt twice.

But sometimes, fate will attack you when you are unprepared, forcing you to accept, no matter how fierce and hard you receive it -

-

"You have changed."

"That accident was so sudden... He didn't have parents, so his aunt did the follow-up funeral services. Her aunt said she wanted to keep a low profile, so no one knew where the time and place were...”

”If I didn't meet you today, I wouldn't think of him. 

Is it because I escaped for six years that I let him taste six years' thoughts and sorrows in one breathe before going abroad?”

Xiang Hao Ting was sitting on the side of the road, leaning back against the huge stone used by passers-by to sit as a chair. The warmth on his cheek reminded him of tears and rain.

They met Li Si Hao at the clothing store. They had dinner together because she missed him. During the dinner, they had a casual chat, but suddenly they talked to Yu Xi Gu. For Xiang Hao Ting, it's a topic that can never slip out of his mind.

Because no one has ever loved Yu Xi Gu so much except him. Because of this, he was severely crushed by Li Si Hao's words.

When he got home, he finally opened the biscuit box and showed the objects buried with the memory and checked them one by one. Every time he saw them, he saw a memory, a fragment and a picture.

That day, he sat in the classroom and waited for the legendary target, Yu Xi Gu. That day, he wanted to draw a picture on that face, but he was scared to fall into bed by the teacher’s roar.

That day, he was punched by Yu Xi Gu. That day, he finally found that he liked Yu Xi Gu. That day, they crossed the barriers and came together for their birthday. They also hung light bulbs to take photos. That day, they had a taste of kissing. On that day, they quarrelled. That day, the satisfaction after hugging.

Countless that day, all exist in this small box, but only problem here is that those memories will not increase, but will fade, will be gradually forgotten, be taken away by the waters of time.

Xiang Hao Ting was afraid that he will gradually forgets him one day, so he climbed the mountain as soon as he has time, runs to the place closest to the stars and talks to the sky. At the beginning of each time, it's "Xi Gu, how are you recently? I've come to see you", and at the end of each time, it's “I'll come to see you later, please say hello to father and mother".

But no matter what he thinks, Yu Xi Gu will not come back.

Suddenly a sense of powerlessness swept in, sadness, pain, hesitation and helplessness forced him to leave home, but did not know where to go. He stayed in the heavy rain, did not know how long time passed, only knew that suddenly a car approached him, and then Sun Bo Xiang came to him with an umbrella.

The disappearance of Xiang Hao Ting soon alarmed all his friends.

After receiving the call, Sun Bo Xiang immediately drove out to look for him. All the places he could think of were checked. Finally, he was lucky. He fished out his friend who was drenched in soup on the side of the road, he took him home to have a hot bath, informed everyone that he found him, and then he ended the search.

Sun Bo Xiang knew that his friend's depressed, but he doesn't know what's going on. He only got one sentence after asking: “I changed

“We have changed.”  

“But he hasn't changed!" Xiang Hao Ting said in a broken voice.

Sun Bo Xiang can't be more clear about who he means. When a friend was in the most pain, although he was accompanied by his friends and family, no one really felt his sadness and despair. Only Sun Bo Xiang, who walked along the same road with him, could understand that it was a pain that his heart could not be filled even if it was half dug out.

This sentence made him understand that his friend never came out of grief of losing his lover. He just changed his clean clothes and told everyone that he had left the emotional swamp, but in fact, he was still trapped in it, but no one looked down at his submerged feet. Once there was an opportunity, he would fall back into the swamp again, for example, tonight.

“His time is still stuck at the age of eighteen, and I can only go on, I can't stop aging." His eyes were red, and he continued after a while: “I've been eager to get closer to him, so I've been climbing mountains, and I've been going to the mountains that are closer to the stars. It's like reaching out and touching the stars, as if I could touch them..."

He choked up so suddenly that he couldn't say what was behind those climbing trips.

Drink up the beer in the cup in one go. The tingling feeling caused by the liquid sliding over the throat can wake up the mind. It will also anesthetize the nerves. Xiang Hao Ting did not rely on alcohol intentionally, but realized its wonderful use by accident. He would use it to anesthetize the thoughts in several nights when he could not sleep well.

“But that's not right." He coughed twice and said, "Even if I want to get closer to him, in fact, my distance from him is... More and more far away, he is still 18 years old, only I have changed..." he finally couldn't bear it, and cried.

The fear and loss everywhere held his heart like a claw. He can't imagine that he can go on walking like this. Where can he go in the future without Yu Xi Gu? All these years' work seemed to be in vain. Even if he has climbed the Himalayas, what can he do? There is an 18-year-old Yu Xi Gu there, but he may have been more than that or 40 years old. Such pursuit and sustenance... Just imagine that he knew it was a lost battle.

The second half of life without Yu Xi Gu is dead and meaningless.

“But when he was 18, there was always you beside him." Sun Bo Xiang comforted him.

“I still often dream about the intersection, the car, where he laid. If I can help him no matter how... I can't do anything."

The crossing was a nightmare for him, Sun Bo Xiang understood. After a glass of beer was drunk up, it's followed by another glass. Sun Bo Xiang doesn't care about that bottle of beer, but it's a question whether his friend's body can bear so much alcohol at a time. He can't help but exhort: "Okay, that’s enough."

"There are very few things left by him, you know? Everything is a picture, everyone is a memory. Those things fill me up so much that I can hardly hold them." Xiang Hao Ting was gasping for breath, unable to control his mood under the catalysis of alcohol, and the negative thoughts forced to be expelled or suppressed came out.

“Sun Bo, do you know? I really tried to forget him..." he raised his face and looked at his friend. Maybe he was the only one who knew him best. He thought that he was very funny and badly damaged. He had such an idea.

“But I can't do it here.”

"The only thing I can do is to remember him all the time and live with him, but it's so painful for me... I really miss him and think of it makes my heart so painful... I can't bear to go on like this.”

Try to think about the next 18 years, the third 18 years, the fourth 18 years... He will become 36, 54, 72, but what about Yu Xi Gu? He would still... be 18 years old

What could be more painful than this? Xiang Hao Ting can't think of it.

"You don't need to forget him. You just need to move on and keep him here." Sun Bo Xiang thought the idea was stupid. There's no need to forget, that's the root of Xiang Hao Ting. Without Yu Xi Gu, Xiang Hao Ting would not be the same as he is now. Although it's painful to remember, it's more regrettable to forget. He doesn't like to see his friend in more pain.

“If you can't find a direction, follow your current self and you'll find an exit." In recent years, Sun Bo Xiang has been sharpened by the society, and his ideas are not as childish as before. He has become calm and reliable. He also knew that Xiang Hao Ting's confusion. Xiang Hao Ting loved Yu Xi Gu so much that he can't come out of that love anytime soon. It's better to encourage him to study than to force him to cheer up while living with this emotion and regret.

Xiang Hao Ting sniffed and sobbed. All kinds of emotions hovered in his mind and strike him. Good, bad, extreme and negative are all mixed together. In normal times, he can still fight with reason, but the successive shocks left only one thought left for him.

“I really don't know how to walk alone..." a person, so lonely... Xiang Hao Ting wipes tears indiscriminately, and even can't think.

"You have us, you are never alone." Although they can't replace Yu Xi Gu, at least they can help Xiang Hao Ting when he breaks down and give him a hug when he needs it. It's all the family and friends can do. No matter what, if it takes 18 years to come out or accept, they are all going to be there. Xiang Hao Ting listened to Sun Bo Xiang and cried uncontrollably on his knee.

He heard his friend soothe him like one coaxing a child: "OK, it's OK."

It's even more painful. In addition to adding trouble to his friends, he also realized that this is a big test that he will have to face and deal with preferentially his own from now on.

Perhaps, he has to spend his whole life writing this test paper, which no one can review it for him, because there is never a correct answer and score in life.

-

           Cheng Qing's sudden visit surprised Lu Zhi Gang and Sun Bo Xiang.

"Mr busy man, why are you here today?" Lu Zhi Gang asked with a smile. Cheng Qing is now the most popular fried chicken in the performing arts circle. His schedule is full. It's abnormal that he deliberately took time to come here and visit them.

When Cheng Qing heard this sentence, he coughed awkwardly, moved his posture and began slowly, “I'm thinking, how I can apologize to you for the mistake I made before."

The two on the other side of the sofa looked at the other man, but they had no clue.

“Why apologize?" asked Lu Zhi Gang.

“I was wrong." Cheng sighed. It's all because he's too busy with his work, and he didn't have the desire to return the gift box to the two. Just thinking about the possible consequences caused by his negligence, he can't help but feel four chills on his back and rush to explain it to them.

His hesitation was a negative message to the other two. Cheng Qing is the only contact they have with their family at present. In addition, when the gift box was returned, Lu Zhi Gang immediately felt that something was wrong and asked Cheng Qing to speak directly.

"That about the healthy food. Grandpa didn't want me to return it to you. I thought it was just like always, but... He has other implications which I think he meant for me to convey."

Lu Zhi Gang's way of thinking is “Sure enough" he does. He held Sun Bo Xiang's hand on his knee, which was kind of soothing significance. On the one hand, he lets his partner be controlled by him. On the other hand, he also pacifies himself in disguise.

"Grandpa hopes you two won't send it again later." Cheng Qing said.

Compared with Lu Zhi Gang's despondency and helplessness, Sun Bo Xiang is more hopeful. He immediately said that if grandpa doesn't like it, he can send another thing. His desire to let Lu Zhi Gang go home is seen in the eyes of the parties.... it's more than a hundred times of heartache for Lu Zhi Gang.

-

“It's not about things." Cheng Qing frowned and refuted, "No matter how much you send, Grandpa still won’t understand. Grandpa wants to say -"

“Wait a minute, if it's very negative word again... Then you don’t have to say it. We can imagine it ourselves."

Both of them have a tacit understanding look at each other. Anyway, they haven't heard less in these years. They can all everything the think was said and write a quotation!

Cheng Qing suddenly felt that the speech skills he had learned in recent years were not learned in vain. It turned out that one could say so many words just by retaining the few words. He didn't intend to practice it on his relatives, so he immediately put the emphasis on it.

"Grandpa wants me to tell you - uncle, you can go home."

All of a sudden, they were stunned for a while, and then Sun Bo Xiang took the lead in responding. He asked happily if Brother Zhi Gang could go home, but the response surprised him even more.

"Grandpa said, you can go back together.”  

“Me, me, too? WOW!" Lu Zhi Gang couldn't believe it. He walked back to the room without saying a word. Sun Bo Xiang confirmed that the news was true and he immediately ran back to the room, leaving Cheng Qing alone in the living room watching TV to kill time.

In the room, Lu Zhi Gang was lying on the bed with his shoulders shaking gently up and down.

The news was so sudden that although it was the result that he had been expecting, when it came, he didn't know how to deal with it and kept guessing whether it was true or not.

Sun Bo Xiang was also very happy to see him like this. He went to bed to him and wiped away his tears and asked him not to cry. He said it was a happy thing. Now he really has two homes. “I'll take a vacation tomorrow, eh?”  

Then, we can go home together.

The two nestled on the bed and hugged each other. Lu Zhi Gang could not even say the moving words well. He just kept playing coquetry in his partner's arms. In his eyes filled with tears, there was a boy's face, which was mature in appearance but still childish in heart. It was the face of Sun Bo Xiang, a man who had been enthusiastic all the way and believed that there was nothing he can’t change.

Those who finally got to go home laughed happily, and even cried happily.

During the day, the streets of Taipei are especially clogged with traffic.

Xiang Hao Ting was driving in front of a zebra crossing. Two students in familiar high school sportswear walked by. They looked dazzling in Xiang Hao Ting's eyes.

Once, he and Yu Xi Gu were so close like that, so young, thought that the future was so wide, enough for them to wander around, and when they were tired, they went back to each other's arms to have a rest. Happiness was just like that.

But who knew, now he is the only one left now, Yu Xi Gu is always staying at 18 years old.

He looked at the two students, the mood quietly climbed on his face, he can't explain what kind of mood he is feeling now, lonely, sad, missing, wronged, beside very... Everything has something mixing together and has become an indescribable feature.

“But beside the 18-year-old Yu Xi Gu, there will always be 18-year-old you with him!"

Sun Bo Xiang's words suddenly flashed to his mind. He swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and the whole person went back to the fragments of memory, to countless "that day". On that day, they hold hands, laugh and chase each other, full of infinite beauty and imagination for the future.

On that day, he was lying on Yu Xi Gu's lap, sharing the same music with him. It didn't matter what song he listened to, but it was with Yu Xi Gu.

On that day, he put on his coat on Yu Xi Gu, who was sleeping in the classroom. He watched his sleeping face and took a nap. In the afternoon, the classroom was very sleepy, and it's always good.

On that day, they reviewed on campus and found a rare four leaf lucky grass. Looking back on countless "That Day", Xiang Hao Ting found that his mouth corners were slightly hooked in a smile. Except for regret and sadness, there seemed to be some other emotions brewing. The 18-year-old and the 18-year-old Yu Xi Gu will always be with each other, without worry, pain or regret.

You don't have to forget him.

He thought that maybe in the next few years, he would still feel sad when he remembered it, but he would not forget him. He will always remember every day and every moment he had with Yu Xi Gu, and then live on with these memories and regrets, go on, go on.

He is destined to keep growing old and stay a few steps away from Yu Xi Gu. But it doesn't matter. He has already made plans. He plans to stay abroad for another two years after finishing the Research Institute. Then, he will take Yu Xi Gu, 18, with him to see the world some more, and then... he will wait till he was ready, and then he go to the place closest to the stars to be with his Yu Xi Gu.

At the green light change, he stepped on the accelerator, crossed the road and disappeared into the streets of Taipei.

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T/N .... I'm getting The Effect: The Series vibes .... But What if...