Chapter 46: The What If? Madness

 Chapter 46:  The What If? Madness

After dinner, Zhou He Yi went to the hotel to take the baggage. When he got in the car, he lowered his voice and spoke by someone whispering secret codes to He Gu: "Mr. He, no one has found us."

He Gu felt funny by his antics: "I am not a special agent, you can relax."

Zhou He Yi made an ok gesture: "Where are we going now?"

He Gu thought about it: "Do you have friends you know in Germany?"

"Yes."

"First let your friend take his document and book a hotel for us."

"Okay." Zhou He Yi frowned. "What are we going to do  when we get to Eastern Europe?"

"There should be a way to stop a money trail."

"Right, I know a website that can find people who provide their own homes for tourists. Every city has it(Airbnb??). The documents are not strictly enforced and some conditions are very good but they are more expensive than hotels."

"Yes, you can contact them."

Zhou He Yi seemed a little excited, probably feeding into the special agent play. He drove a car and called a friend in Berlin. The friend was very enthusiastic and helped them to book the hotel. They took the room card and went straight to the building.

He Gu sat in a quiet room, quietly staring at the t-shirt that Zhou He Yi threw on the bed, the words "Song Ju Han" on the top are faintly visible.

.... I just wanted to come out and have a good time, can you fucking not bother me ?

In a short while, Zhou He Yi wore big shorts, his naked upper body was on full display, he was not as tall as the Europeans, about 178, but his body is very good, the chest and abdomen muscles are faintly visible, the waist is thin and sturdy, the legs straight and long, coupled with the always smiling face full of vitality, he was very flattering, a reminiscent of the sun, sea and beach.

He Gu couldn't help but look at it more.

"Mr. He, go take a shower, I have wiped the water off the floor, but you should be careful when you go in, the floor is a bit slippery."

"Okay, thank you." He Gu took the changed clothes, went into the bathroom and took a shower comfortably.

When he came out, he saw Zhou He Yi's legs on the arm of the sofa while he was playing with the mobile phone. When he heard the movement, Zhou He Yi turned around and looked at him for a moment, his eyes were stunned and weird.

He Gu guessed that he looked at him because of something so he waited for him to talk.

Zhou He Yi squinted his eyes: "Mr. He, I know why you are hiding from Song Ju Han, I... I checked it online, it turns out that you..."

He Gu patted his hair with a towel and calmly said: "I didn't hide from him, I just didn't want to be bothered by him."

Zhou He Yi said with a guilty conscience: "You will not be angry with me? I was just a little curious."

"It doesn't matter, anyway, you know... So there is no difference  between knowing and not knowing."

"Mr. He, you can rest assured that your lifestyle and choice are your freedom and nothing can change my respect for you."

He Gu smiled: "Thank you."

"Then I don't like him at all." Zhou He Yi's chin was lifted in the direction of the trash can and the t-shirt was thrown inside. "I don't believe what the media said, I believe you are a good person."

He Gu seriously said again: "Thank you."

   To hear such a sentence, even if it is from a person that he has only met for a few days, it is a little comfort to him.

"Well... that, Song Ju Han must have a wounded face." Zhou He Yi made a slash. "He must have been find out he got ditched. You will be happy if you hear this?"

He Gu felt helplessly: "I will be more happy if I don't hear anything about him."

Zhou He Yi nodded quickly and he looked at the slender legs that were exposed under the bathrobe and his eyes were bright.

Song Ju Han waited until ten o'clock in the evening at the hotel. His temper has always been violent and he has never waited for anyone for so long in his life. When he sat down at the end, he was sore and he couldn't help but pull out his mobile phone. He called the driver's phone, but the phone to be turned off. There was an ominous premonition in his heart. He went to the front desk and wanted to confirm if He Gu would have returned when he went to the toilet.

When he checked at the front desk they said Mr. He had checked out.

"Checked... Out????!" Song Ju Han's expression instantly became fierce.

The front desk lady was scared and took a step back and looked at him in horror.

Song Ju Han gritted his teeth: "When? When did he checked out?!"

"It's around eight in the evening."

Eight o'clock... Song Ju Han recalled it, isn't that the time when the Chinese youth who asked him for a sign  returned to the hotel for the second time? He did go to the front desk at the time and had two pieces of luggage in his hand.

He Gu is with that person?

1]....Uh oh

Song Ju Han scoffed angrily and turned and left. He returned to the car and called back to China: "You...send me the photo of the driver immediately."

   After waiting for three minutes, the mobile phone received a photo and the ID card. Song Ju Han opened it and saw that the youth was the  correct one.

Song Ju Han was angry and anxious and wanted to kill someone.

He Gu traveled to Europe with this young handsome guy? Two people stayed in a room?! And what he was pisses about mostly he and He are in turmoil because of this person, because of this person!




Song Ju Han felt that he is going crazy. The hand holding the phone trembled and he whispered: "You will investigate all the information about this driver."

Hanging up the phone, Song Ju Han closed his eyes. He felt that the chest was being squeezed by something heavy. The throat was like gripped by a hand and every breath required a lot of effort.

Why was He Gu hiding from him, so not only did he not say goodbye, but also hid himself from him.

   The one person who liked him for so many years, holding him, stare at him, what did he say and where did that person go? Why can't he keep him anyway, no matter how tightly he is holding how can he keep He Gu from sliding off?

He wanted to see him and asked why he is hiding from him?

   He regretted that he had not been able to detect the strangeness earlier, but He Gu had never said anything and even if he was thinking about something when He Gu said nothing and it would be hard to see it. He ran without a word, but it really matched the He Gu silent personality.

After getting along for so many years, it seems he had not had enough understand of a man called He Gu, he wants to understand him and his thinking, he wants to use the next time they are together to learn about this man bit by bit, maybe he will understand why it has been seven years and he cared about He Gu and why he can't let go of him. Why is that a man who doesn't even say a good sentence can give him a excitement drug!

When he woke up, he saw that the bed next to him was empty. He had a regular routine and got up very early every day. He thought that Zhou He Yi had already gone out. He yawned and got up and washed.

Just as he packed himself, Zhou He Yi came back, he was wearing a sportswear, the headphone cord hung around his neck and his hair was slightly wet. Obviously he just jogged back, holding a paper bag in his hand and laughing at the first sight. Showing a white tooth: "Mr. He, I saw that you can't eat Western breakfast, I went to Chinatown to buy you dumplings and porridge."

He Gu was so embarrassed moved: "Thank you, in fact, I am very casual person and it's okay to eat anything, but also trouble you to wake up so early."

"It doesn't matter, I just thought you may want to eat it." Zhou He Yi opened the bag and sniffed. "Well, it tastes good so come and eat."

He Gu really didn't like to eat something like bread and cheese. He kept feeling that he didn't have enough food to eat compared to the traditional Chinese breakfast is the most appetizing.

1].... Mmmh I find myself pretty filled when I eat 2 milky egg chapatis and milk chai... If you never had chapatis.. mh fuck lord you haven't lived

"Mr. He, today we are going to Cologne and I will take you to Cologne Cathedrals."

"Okay."

"The last stop in Germany is Munich. The beer in Munich is great. If you like football, I can take you to the game."

"Okay, arrange for it."

Zhou He Yi smiled and said: "Mr. He, you are the best guest I have ever seen."

He Gu smiled: "Am I?"

"Really, you're  polite, good to talk with and generous." Zhou He Yi licked his lips, "mega handsome."

"Thank you, you are also a good driver and guide."

"If I come to China later, can I visit you and you can be my guide around?"

"Of course, I welcome you."

The two got in the car and headed for Cologne.

   On the road, He Gu found out that in the car the music playlist there was no Song Song's song. On the way, the young man's careful and thoughtful thoughts made him feel very happy. This kind of thoughtfulness makes him feel good.

Good feeling.

When Zhou He Yi saw He Gu was particularly silent today, he changed the way to find the topic: "Mr. He, Mr. He."

"Yeah?"

"German's high-way speed has no speed limit. Now that there are so few cars, do you want to experience the feeling of a speeding car?"

"Well, how fast can this car go?"

"Two hundred and twenty kph is not a problem."

"Do it" He Gu patted the seat belt, it was very strong.

Zhou He Yi changed a song on the radio to the explosive metal rock, "squeaky", one foot to the throttle pushed to the end, the Buick car flew out.

   He Gu was in shock, he has never done such a fast car in his life and his heart is somewhat nervous. Even after the acceleration, the visual effect in front is still scary. When he looked at the side window, the scenery outside is flying backwards and the body seems to be drifting on air.

He Gu clenched his fists, the whole body pores blew open, nervousness was permeating, fear of fear, but the stimulus was unprecedented, he could not help but laugh.

Zhou He Yi also laughed: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Fucking amazing!" He Gu was harmonious

The pointer of the speedometer panel exceeded 200. The two men flew along the empty highway for two minutes. The nerve-tight pressure made the ordinary people unable to persist for too long. Zhou He Yi slowly lowered the speed.

He Gu felt  that his back was dripping with sweat.

"That is what you call pleasurable ." Zhou He Yi sighed with a sigh of relief, showing a big smile on He Gu, "Is it fun?"

"It's fun."

"There are so many fun things in the world. What time is there to be unhappy? When the garbage is thrown away, it's fine. The Chinese don't say it, happy is a day, unhappy is also a day, why not be happy,why not be unhappy? Can you solve the problem with it?"

He Gu laughed, he was actually educated by a boy who was a few years younger than him and was a little embarrassed. However, what Zhou He Yi said in that the sentence is reasonable. He began to regret some time. After spending so much money and running so far and in such a strange place, what can he get in the end? Now he thinks that it is very worthy to escape to this part of the world. There are so many fresh and interesting things waiting for him to experience, why should he always hang his eyes on single person, he can definitely try to get joy, fulfillment and satisfaction from other people and places.

When they arrived in Cologne, they visited for around for a day. In the evening, they went to Chinatown to buy a lot of snacks, cooked food, instant noodles and then went to the house where Zhou He Yi was looking for.

The rooms are furnished by a couple of Italian couples working in Germany. The company rented a large house for them and they rented out the rooms to earn some pocket money.

On this day, the three rooms were full, except for him and Zhou He Yi and a couple of Japanese couples who came to travel.




Coincidentally, today is the birthday of the daughter of the host couple, a bunch of friends were celebrating, the host invited them to join the party.

He Gu drank some wine that day and he was brave enough to say a few words to foreigners. In fact, his English is very good, but it is easy for him to be nervous when chatting to people at first. After a while, the psychological burden is much lighter and he can speak smoothly.

Zhou He Yi said with amazement: "Mr. He, it turns out that your English is so good, I thought.... you don't speak much."

"I haven't spoken  it for a long time." He Gu smiled in this warm and happy party and felt very relaxed. When he was in Beijing, he felt that the air was depressing and his breathing was not good. Ever since he came here and he never felt that way anymore.

After the end of the party, He Gu had drunk a little bit, but he was still awake.

Zhou He Yi helped him to the room by his waist: "Mr. He, I will send you back to the room."

"It doesn't matter, I didn't drink too much, I can go by myself."

"It's not safe to go up the stairs, I will still help you."

"Ok."

The house is very large and the stairs are designed to be very narrow. When Zhou He Yi helped him to go upstairs. The two men's bodies slammed into each other. It was more trouble than if he was alone, but Zhou He Yi was always enthusiastic and that enthusiasm is hard to refuse.

They finally got to the room, He Gu leaned over the quilt that smelled of lavender and stretched his body.

"Mr. He, are you not feeling well? There is a hangover drug in the car."

"Nothing, no more drinking." He Gu looked at Zhou He Yi, both eyes whirly and he casually asked: "He, how old are you?"

"21." Zhou He Yi stared at He Gu inconspicuous and his throat was gently rolled.

"So young... why not go to college?"

"I don't like studying." Zhou He Yi smiled and said, "I like surfing. I have to work for a while. If I make enough money, I will go to the surf competition in the world to challenge the best. Then I want to open a surfing training class in the future."

He Gu smiled: "It's good."

Zhou He Yi sat unconsciously at the bedside: "Mr. He, what about you? Do you have any dreams?"

The words "dreams..." Is somewhat ironic for what his dreams are.

The dream he understands is what he wants or what he wants to achieve. The only thing he wanted strongly in his life was that he be Song Ju Han's only man, but he only remembered it at the end. At first he wanted Song Ju Han. What he wanted was Song Ju Han's loyalty, loyalty and companionship, not just that the thought that he could satisfy his occasional companionship. He had comforted himself that it will be just a "step-by-step" . He's step by step in seven years, as time goes by. He didn't even dare to think about his initial dream.

  Because Song Ju Han is precisely a person who can never be loyal in his feelings. Song Ju Han is a selfish and greedy claimant. He never minds giving Song Ju Han his whole, but what he gives can't change Song Ju Han to the point that he will want only belongs to He Gu, so He Gu  doesn't want anything.

  In the past seven years, he was able to look at Song Ju Han's lingering flowers(fucking around) and was indifferent because he was not qualified to be jealous, but in the end, Song Ju Han gave him a promise, he promised to be an invisible rope for him, but for Song Ju Han, it was just a sentence only to get He Gu back on his grip. Song Ju Han even wanted to upgrade him from the "fuckbuddy" to "mistress". He was awake at the same moment of despair that he was so deep that he can't see his head.

   He is soberly aware that he will never get what he wants from Song Ju Han. If he stays in this cave, he will be distorted and go mad because of the endless derailment of Song Ju Han and eventually destroy himself.

So it's best if he prevents the nightmare from happening.

When Zhou He Yi saw He Gu didn't talk, he said with some emotion: "They said that the older people are, the more they will forget their dreams. I don't know if I will forget them in the future."

"If you forget, it may be that you have more important things to do in your life."

Zhou He Yi smiled and said: "Yes."

  He looked down at He Gu and his eyes focused. "Mr. He, you said so much to me for the first time."

"Yes, we don't chat every day."

"That's all me speaking, when I ask you answer by a few words occasionally. In the first few days, I was still afraid of you."

He Gu laughed: "I am afraid of what I do."

"You are too serious." Zhou He Yi laid on the bed and He Gu looked at him. "I later discovered that when you are only talking less, you're very good and that silence is also the charm of men."

He Gu turn his head and looked at him with a slight smiled.

Zhou He Yi's heart jerked a bit and he couldn't help but swallow his throat, staring at He Gu gaze.

HeGu took a nap and suddenly noticed something was wrong and sat up.

Zhou He Yi quickly sat up and his face was reddish: "Mr. He, then take a rest, we can go out tomorrow."

"OK, good night."

Before going to bed, He Gu opened the mailbox and anyone who knew the e-mail address wrote an e-mail to him.

His mother sent a message about the summer study tour program that Su Su participated in. Gu Qing Pei told him that he is now well and Zhuang Jie Yu told him that Song Ju Han was looking for him everywhere.

He Gu return the e-mail separately. In the email to Zhuang Jie Yu, he only wrote a few words: Let him still look around.

Song Ju Han traced the email account belonging to Zhou He Yi and found out that they booked at homestay. When he was about to go kill the homewrecker he was found by his father's bodyguard.

He didn't expect his dad to be so hardheaded this time, that Song He sent someone to Germany to catch him and tie him and cargo him and ship him home.




Seven or eight people blocked him in the hotel and one had the electric taser with him.

Song Ju Han just managed to  put down three with his fist punching power and zap.... He felt the body numb and he fell like a sack of potato on the ground. When he opened his eyes, he was a tied cargo already flying back on his father's private plane.

When he got home, he was put on a shut up lock down again. This time in a real sense, his father sent people to watch 24 hours a day.

Song Ju Han's passing time may be the toughest time in his life and it is even more difficult than when he was in a detention facility.

What is in his mind you ask?

Every day he wondered where and what He Gu is doing and the driver is most likely a homosexual gay young man, what if the two are dating and doing dating stuff. He has been staying with him for too long, sometimes even forgetting The He Gu Charm  but He Gu had men around him, Feng Zheng, Zhuang Jie Yu, Gu Qing Pei, not to mention that Chinese hyper active driver, is enough to prove He Gu charm can make bisexual people gayer.

   Ju Han is increasingly unable to sleep and eat and most of his waking hours are spent in anxiety. He didn't know what happened to his own brain. He seemed to be crazy, like a man who had been hungry for ten days, he was eager for food, but he longed for He Gu not the food.

He wants to see He Gu, want to see He Gu, want to see He Gu.... Oh yeah. .. Want to see He Gu

   He wants to ask why He Gu dares to do this to him. He wants to take him home and shut him up inside and do punishing things to him. He will not let anyone see He Gu not hear He Gu or anyone touch He Gu. He wants to tell He Gu, he will not marry, doesn't want children, as long as He Gu loves him. Everyone and everything can disappear...

The thought of " He Gu might not like him", even just by thinking about it, it makes his blood scream for violent.

After he tried to escape twice and broke the ribs of a bodyguard, Song He finally realized that the matter was a bit serious and called the unsuspecting Vanessa  from her skirting calm life abroad.

After Vanessa and her husband had a big fight.., they walked into Song Ju Han's bedroom and Song He saw his son's mourning. He frowned deeply.

Song Ju Han looked up at her and said with anger: "Ooh you are back."

Vanessa gracefully squats in front of him, her long fingers tickling his chin: "Baby, how do you make yourself like this, you are 27 years old, not 17 years old, how can you be so childish?"

1]... So at this point Song Ju Han is 27 He Gu 29 and Gu Qing Pei 31 or 33 I'm not good with numbers

"Mom, I want to see He Gu." Song Ju Han dumb.

"Does he want to see you?"

Song Ju Han scoffed, rubbed his lips and shook his head.

"In this case, why do you want to force him to see you if he doesn't want to see you isn't that forcing him ?."

"Erg eh eh ....I want to see him." Song Ju Han said stubbornly, "I found out where he is, as long as I can go out, I will find him immediately."

"After finding him then?"

"Take him back." Song Ju Han stared at Vanessa. "Mom, He Gu loves me, he freaking said it, I know, he loved me for many years, he can't bear me now, he just is angry with me, he is not really  wanting to see me."

Vanessa looked at his son sadly, whispered: "He loves you, everyone knows heck even the band team knows it, probably its only you can't see it, I reminded you several times, He Gu is good for you, are you good to him?"

"I am .....of course.... to him..." The words came to his lips, but Song Ju Han suddenly felt he couldn't finish them.

 Is he good to He Gu?

He gave him the house, the car and the countless gifts, but He Gu didn't care about those. When he is in a bad mood, he always gets angry because he knows He Gu will let him vent his anger and then calm him. He sometimes deliberately mentions others bed conquests in front of He Gu. He just wants to see if this man who is always serious will be jealous. But now that he made him loose his job and his private personal information was exposed on the Internet and he was harassed and abused by countless people. Finally, he told him that he also plans to marry someone...

Is he good to He Gu?

1]....Bitch no...

He suddenly did not dare to answer this question.

However, he never thought about how it's going to be if he is to be  separated from him . No matter how many beautiful women come and go, when he is tired and tired, he only wants to go back to He Gu. After Feng Zheng appeared, he spoke with anger and he let He Gu go, but back then he knew He Gu will not leave him that he will definitely come back to him. After that, He Gu really didn't come back to him and that not okay, so he went to find out He Gu.

   For seven years, this man has occupied the best seven years of his life, sharing his joy and achievements, frustration with him. No matter what happens, as long as he turns back, He Gu must be silently waiting there. He, as long as he needs it Song Ju Han can do anything for He Gu and get what he wants from what he wants.

He never thought about that He Gu would leave him one day, he couldn't imagine it and there will be a life if He Gu is not around

Now that he has realized it too late and his life has been completely chaotic.

He was not afraid when he was handcuffed. He was not afraid of the accusations of the media and the embarrassment of the netizens. He was not afraid of his career, but he gradually became afraid of He Gu not being in his life.

The powerlessness feeling of trying to tighten his grip in any way and the sand keeps getting looser faster and faster, this let him taste the fear that he has never been felt before.

In fact, he did not think about it. Why should he like He Gu, he wouldn't be so persistent, but he was too lazy to think of He Gu and confirm that he was still young, he had not played enough, he did not want to respond to troublesome feelings, even if he did not respond if He Gu is not around him? What is the difference?

He Gu so smart, he will know everything? Will he know what Ju Han thinks in his heart, if, if He Gu knows and still left, how sad it is...

Song Ju Han hugged his head and only felt a dull pain in his heart.

Whsy a mood must He Gu had been in to stay with him for seven years?

Song Ju Han did not dare to think about it. In the past few days under house arrest, he thought too much. The more he wanted to be more calm the more fearing he became the more he thought about it, the more he felt that He Gu might not come back.

Vanessa sighed and touched her son's hair: "Baby, your father's marriageand I is free and unconstrained, but this is only a special form of marriage. Most people's feelings require loyalty to a single lover. I am sorry that your father and me have not taught you this."

Song Ju Han shook his head and his voice was hoarse: "Mom, I want to see He Gu, he loves me, he will come back."




"He may not come back." Vanessa  gently stroked his arm. "Is He Gu someone who does everything to the extreme? His feelings for you have reached the limit. Now he is leaving you, he will ......"

"Impossible!" Song Ju Han raised his head violently. He blinked and said evilly. "He loves me. He will come back. Just let me see him, I will marry him."

Vanessa sighed: "I am going to communicate with your father, if you want to leave, you can, but you have to promise me three conditions. First, don't do anything to hurt others or hurt yourself. You know that you hurt a few  bodyguard right? Second, you can't be willful. Your career is hard to get on track. You can't play foul at this time. Third, you have to promise me that you won't force He Gu to do what he doesn't want to do."

Song Ju Han nodded and grabbed Vanessa's hand.

Vanessa touched his flawless face and said sadly: "Maybe I have not established a correct concept of love for you, but I have taught you humility, sincerity and kindness. How did you become so arrogant and selfish when you grew up? You are influenced by your father and this circle has broken you."

Song Ju Han bowed his head and was speechless.

"Even if you go to him, you may not be able to change anything. You think about what you did and if it is you on the opposite side, you can understand that he will not come back."

Song Ju Han's body trembled. He clenched his fist and his eyes were a little fuzzy. He gritted his teeth: "He will come back, he will definitely come back."

Well don't forget to vote and comment..... Get intoxicated..... and wake up...As Always Years of Intoxication.