Chapter 40: Confusion about the word "LOVE"

     Years of Intoxication 《一醉經年》 Yi Zui Jing Nian.  

  Chapter 40: Confusion about the word "LOVE"

He Gu felt that there is a place where Song Ju Han left the air is starting to become thin and he was having difficulty breathing. He forced himself to calm down and said, "How come you are here?."

"I was looking for someone to come in, and follow in just like a thief." Song Ju Han was not looking very good, the whole person reveals a few haze, as if something is hidden in the body, anxious to explode.

It can be understood that people like Song Ju Han who are born with what they have and who have been in love with winning and must have never experienced such a setback, so he was particularly anxious.

   Can he be the one who has the most reason to be anxious in the whole thing? 

Instead of facing Song Ju Han, He Gu was not angry. He only felt helpless and deeply helpless, because even if he was angry again, Song Ju Han would not admit his mistake and his anger would be meaningless.

Song Ju Han saw that He Gu did not speak and when he passed, he naturally reached out to touch his face.

He Gu pushed his face aside: "What are you doing here?"

Song Ju Han looked at his hand in the air and his expression flashed with a little disappointment: "What am I doing here? Of course, coming see you! I went out of the detention center and went to another prison, my dad shut me down inside. I can only come to see you today, I am going to apologize for the press conference."

He Gu looked at him: "You saw me now, go back."

"He Gu.."Song Ju Han gritted his teeth. "I have never seen a person who is more difficult to engage in temper than you in my life."

He Gu stayed silent.

Song Ju Han stared at his eyes: "He Gu you agreed to cop to the charges? Are you stupid? Do you want to go to jail?"

He Gu lips trembled, his fists clenched tightly behind his back and he wanted to give a reason that didn't sound so humble, but he couldn't think of anything for a while.

Why? Why didn't he hesitate to sin, but also prepared to sacrifice his own career to agree to such a request? How can he answer this? Finally, he had to said: "No special reason"

That's right, He Gu didn't, because even if he gives him thousands of chances, his choice is the same.

Because it is Song Ju Han, so why not.

"Not this nonsense...He Gu!!" Song Ju Han grabbed He Gu arm in his hand and the deep eyelids seemed to hide the energy of the entire starry sky big bang. He could penetrate the person from the inside. "He Gu, you tell the truth, why?."

He Gu struggle for two times, but he couldn't get rid of Song Ju Han's grip. He pushed Song Ju Han and he shouted in anger: "You let go!"

Song Ju Han pinched his shoulder and pushed him on the wall. He said in a word: "Tell me, He Gu, why!"

"Why?" He Gu eyelids become congested and the back molars were bitting themselves and then he did not shrink he looked at Song Ju Han.

The two men looked at each other for a few seconds and suddenly they laughed and the laughter was mixed with heartbreaking chokes.

Song Ju Han looked at him without saying a word.

"Why? Hahahaha, why?" He Gu eyes blurred. "My name is called 'Why'. It seems that my life is destined to have a lot of problems with no solution. For example, why meet you, why sleep with you? For six years, why should you involve me in your bad things. Song Ju Han, I want to ask you these three words, why you say? Do you really don't know?"

1] He Gu means why thats why if you read the novel through MTL or Google translate you will get nowhere fast




Song Ju Han's breathing came a little short. His eyes were bright and his eyes were like a torch: "You love me, don't you? The question I asked you that day, you haven't answered me yet. Do you love me?"

He Gu bit his lips hard and wanted to use his pain to paralyze himself to avoid tears falling from his eyes again? This is too shameful.

   He thought that as long as he did not say, Song Ju Han would not say, he would bring this secret into the grave after he he dies, but in fact, he always doubted in his heart, Song Ju Han really did not know?

Song Ju Han knocked his teeth with his thumb and stroked his soft lips. Then he couldn't help but kiss him and said softly, "Why didn't you say so? For so many years, why not?"

   He Gu thought that every word that Song Ju Han said is like a sharp knife into his heart, he trembled: "Say it? Do you remember? When I went to question you six years ago, you smiled and said that you were not into love you were only playing."

Song Ju Han frowned: "I was... I was still young and I didn't think you were saying it for real..."

"You didn't expect to see it. People who follow singers can hook with up and go to bed will really love you, right?" He realized that no one in this world would reveal his scars more than Song Ju Han. Every word and every detail of the year he remembered clearly. He understood his own discomfort and understood Song Ju Han's scorn. He understood everything and just could not get to speak it out.

Yes, Song Ju Han was only 19 years old at the time and even his cruelty was not so slick.

Song Ju Han was silent: "The purpose of getting close to you at the beginning was really impure, but over the years, you have become more and more important to me. I am really not used to not being without you."

   This is Song Ju Han's first soft talk, but He Gu can't feel even a little bit of happiness, but he feel that his cheeks are hot and seem to have been swollen. After so many years of companionship, he finally played a role, that is just habit. Yes, Song Ju Han got used to his on-call, obedient and patient and he was used to such a life. He even got some points. When he left Song Ju Han, the most painful thing was whether he lost his love or broke this habit.

He Gu replied: "You will get used to it sooner or later, let me go now, go away."

"Are we still not as good as before? Was I not good to you?" Song Ju Han was anxious. He was refused three times and five times. He had turned to anger from flustered. He could not think about why He Gu would really want to leave him.

No He Gu? How is that going to feel like? ! He can't imagine it.

He Gu heart felt painful and trembling: "Song Ju Han, do you know what you want?"

Song Ju Han groaned and did not speak.

"I like it... I don't know what I like, but I can't watch you and others be together. It doesn't matter. We can make us still the same as before right?"

He Gu said a words and each one of the words he said hurt him, "You know me... I love you, so you will let me be the same as before, watching you f*cking around left and right?"

 He might have done it before, but now he can't, since he knows that Song Ju Han played him for Feng Zheng, it really won't work.

He thought that he thought he knew his "love". Song Ju Han would have some touches. If not, his "love" is not worthful word for Song Ju Han and even after a few waves it disappeared in the drownings sea.

"Do you want me to stop sleeping with others?" Song Ju Han fixedly looked at He Gu, "Is this what you want?"

He Gu only feel that his chest was bleeding and he couldn't breathe. He finally couldn't help but whimper: "Song Ju Han, do you have a heart?"

Song Ju Han looked at He Gu face that was so sad and wronged to the extreme, his heart was faintly clogged.

   He was really touched when he heard that He Gu was willing to risk his imprisonment and give him a saving grace for himl. There are too many people coming and going around him, but no one has ever said anything to him like this, he even said nothing but he is willing to do anything for him and no one would do something like this, just watching and holding, if he is just around, He Gu can make him get peace of mind.

He Gu was a resting place when everything tired him, even his family can not let him have such a sense of belonging. He can't leave He Gu for anything, even if he just imagines He Gu being close to other people that He Gu body will be touche by others, he wants to kill something.

   When he first met He Gu, he did not put this person in his heart, but he did not know when he started doing it. He felt that this person belongs to him by nature and belongs to him only. He paused and said clearly: "I promise you, He Gu, I promise you I will no longer touch others. Come with me, this time is for real and I will not be messing around."

He Gu didn't dare to look at Song Ju Han.

Song Ju Han tightened his hold on He Gu waist and rubbed his forehead against his forehead. He said softly: "I promise you, I promise you, so don't make fuss with me, I really miss you."

The body was stiff as iron and the brain is too slow to think.

What did Song Ju Han just agree with him?

Song Ju Han kissed his lips gently: "Do you not love me? Continue to love me, I will be good to you, I will not find someone else, we will be together."

He Gu returned to reality and squint his eyes and he pushed Song Ju Han away.




   Song Ju Han was still warm and tender and he stepped back a few steps without any precaution. He almost sat on the ground, his heart was angry, he felt his enthusiasm was poured into the cold water, plus the countless embarrassment and cynicism he suffered during this time. It was just pouring oil on the fire. He clenched his fist and wondered why he was pushed away.

He Gu stood against the wall. Only in this way would he not be soft. He stared at Song Ju Han without hesitation. For a long time, he trembled and said: "Song Ju Han, do you know what you are talking about?"

Song Ju Han said: "Of course I know. You don't love me? Don't you want to be with me?"

Not a day passes when I do not want to.

   In the past two thousand days and nights, He Gu has fantasized about this countless times. Song Ju Han will have a long history of life and he will not be his own. He did not expect that today, when the relationship light goes to the end of the oil, he will listen. To say what he once wanted to hear most, in this, he is tired and wants to go to sleep today.

   He thought he would be ecstatic, he thought he would cry and scream, but he didn't feel anything, he just felt awkward. He looked at Song Ju Han and felt familiar and strange.

   Song Ju Han repeatedly sighed and said: "He Gu, I know that you are good to me. I once said that as long as you speak anything, I will give it to you. You hope that I will not fool around with other people, I promise you, so do you have to make another fuss?"

He Gu showed a bitter smile: "Do you think I am awkward with you? do I look that emotional dependent?"

"What do you want?" Song Ju Han voice was unstable. "You said that you wanted to be separated from me and promised to cop to the charges. If I agreed with my dad, you may have gone in jail!"

"Then do I have to thank you?" He Gu whispered, "You brought people to my house, let me lose my name and my face, I was thrown into the internet and I should thank you for not agreeing to let me cop to the charges which had nothing to do with me in the first place, right? ?"

Song Ju Han's face changed: "I didn't make you thank me." He paused. "Everyone is close to me they all want something. Only you are so good to me and ask for nothing in return. He Gu, I really care about you. Let's start again. This time I am serious."

The brain is no longer able to think about it.

Song Ju Han's proposal was tempting, but He Gu could not feel the joy. He pursued this for so many years. When he no longer thought about it, what he wanted suddenly fell to his eyes, so casually, so slow.

He clearly has been stabbed to be blood, not dare to reach out, but he feels that he is not willing to take him. He asked for something that was almost seven years old expecting and it was at his fingertips. If he didn't take it, would he be worthy of his wrong time?

"Caring about you"
 "Restarting"
 "Serious", these words he thought for almost a century, really wanted to hear them from Song Ju Han, he did not know how good it would be.

Why did he threw the fruit away... When had he decided to give up?

When Song Ju Han groaned for something, he pulled him into his arms and buried his cheek in his warm neck. He said: "I really miss you, only you."

In that moment, he realized Song Ju Han fragility and sadness. Everything he experienced during this time was definitely a heavy blow to Song Ju Han. It was only that he had a face that would not easily be revealed in front of people.

Therefore, Song Ju Han needs him now. Only when he needed He Gu, will he want to reconcile with him like this.

After trying to understand this, all the abnormalities of Song Ju Han have been explained and suddenly He Gu felt relieved. Originally, Song Ju Han could not suddenly love him. He was only moved by the sacrifice He Gu wanted to make and he was remembered for his all-embracing efforts. His existence value was highlighted in this rare low tide in Song's life.

Nothing else.

"I will compensate you." Song Ju Han continued. "I will compensate you for your loss. You have no money for your work. If you don't do it, the news is over and soon no one will remember you. You don't have to fear. I will be good to you, I will let you know what sweetness is there."

He Gu eyes crossed Song Ju Han's shoulders and looked at the wall emptily. He couldn't tell what was in his hearts. He was silent for a moment, slowly pushing Song Ju Han: "... let me think, you still have to go back."

 He is almost unable to think.

Song Ju Han frowned. "Its not so easy for me to come out, do you want me to go back?"

"My mother will come when it gets to dawn."

"He Gu, your mother can't guess what we are doing." Song Ju Han kissed his hair. "He Gu, I really miss you, I want to hear you, listen to you, comfort me, think..."

He Gu lean over his head and sighed: "My mom can guess, but she doesn't like you, you still have to go."

Song Ju Han was somewhat dissatisfied: "I don't want to go."

He Gu looked at Song Ju Han with a certain degree and he said with a blank expression: "Do you want to do it.. make sex?"

Song Ju Han did not speak, but his eyes were already in He Gu clothes.

He Gu couldn't help but smile: "You have been ruined during this time, stayed in the detention center for more than a week and been kept at home for more than a week. It is not safe to see anyone. It is not convenient to see anyone for sex. I am the most convenient and most available f*ck, is it?"

 How he forgot, Song Ju Han really "needs" him. It is also difficult for a big star who has been sent to the world with a beautiful beauty. Now he is going to fall to the sneaky way to find someone who has been tired for a long time.

"What are you talking about!" Song Ju Han's eagerness was instantly hit by a smash and he screamed, "I am not looking for you for sex, I am really worried about you!"

"Yes, I am fine, you can rest assured."

"I won't leave!" Song Ju Han said with anger. "I evaded so many people just to see you, you still rush me out?!"

He Gu said: "Is it wrong for you to lose such a big person? Then I lost such a big person. Who should I rely on?"

"You..." Song Ju Han said nothing, he bit his teeth. "How are you going to reconcile with me? You don't love me? You love me!"

Listening to Song Ju Han's six-year hidden secret, it's so easy to hang on his lips. He Gu had an illusion of being slapped in public, as if it's the most shameful secret that has been shaken off and the other party is still joking.

He was powerlessness and sat down on the sofa: "I am confused now, I beg you to go."

"I won't leave, unless you promise me." Song Ju Han came over and half knelt in front of him. His dark eyes looked at him with a sigh of relief and it turned out to be a bit naive. "He Gu, I seem to love you too, let's start over, okay?"

He Gu looked at him deeply and his heart felt an indescribable sting. He couldn't describe his current mood, it was just like what he cherished and pursued was rewarded by Song Ju Han just casually, just like sending him a car, a house these are both done so casual, so he doesn't care. And if he does not accept it, it is not a sentimental, after all, that is what he wants.

However, he originally thought that "love" was also precious to Song Ju Han. He wanted to keep it for a better person, so he could not give it to him. As a result, for Song Ju Han, "love" is just the same ordinary mood. It is neither rare nor precious. For the first time, He Gu knew that not everyone paid attention to the pure "love". It turned out that his feelings which he paid with his youth and suffering for many years were cheap and worth little for Song Ju Han.




How can he tell Song Ju Han what he is hurting, what he hates, what he is rejecting.

   Song Ju Han will never understand, even if he turns all the words he has said in his life into countless words "like" and "love", repeatedly telling Song Ju Han ....

   Song Ju Han will not understand.

It turns out that the farthest distance between them is not the external things of family, ability and status, but the hearts.

What happened to the desperate incompetence.

Why does he see "love" as a heavy word? Why does he ask others to like him? Just as someone loves money, he doesn't look at it. Why can't someone not care about what a ridiculous thing as "love"?

There is nothing wrong with Song Ju Han. He just gained too much "loves" in his life, so he never felt it was a precious thing.

In this case, what is he still struggling with? He wants to monopolize Song Ju Han and Song Ju Han was sent to his mouth. Why does he push it out? Why shouldn't he be emotional?

He confuses the word "love", is that not what you want? How is the result? Song Ju Han gave the word love to him easily.

The same way.

It's just a big joke that He Gu begged for all the way to smashing his head and smashing his blood and not giving up and asking for a "love" the same one that Song Ju Han doesn't care at all.

Well don't forget to vote and comment..... Get intoxicated..... and wake up...As Always Years of Intoxication.